Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Ah, young love…
Today, my parents thought it would be appropriate to tell my girlfriend that I used to stick my penis in a sock puppet and talk to it when I was younger. FML
Not so anal retentive then…
Today, after finally breaking up with my controlling girlfriend, she took a shit in my socks. FML
Today, I tried talking to my wife about our sexless marriage. Her only response was to toss me a sock and say "Knock yourself out, fuckstick." FML
Nailed it
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I guess she got bored because she started looking at her nails. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML
Snoozefest
Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML
Bad sign
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML
Today, I visited my gynecologist. As she had her fingers inside me she decided that was the perfect time to say, "I absolutely love your socks!" FML
Actor's Studio
Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Its was pretty good and heavy and she was moaning nicely. Then her moans got softer and softer and then nothing. She fell asleep. FML
Top comments
porcelainkisses 5
I laughed so hard when I read this. YDI.
coballan55 0
is she hot?
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Comments (308)
Muwahaha_fml 4
...and your a pathetic creep
Foltzie 0
I bet you are like a 24 year old pedophile that rapes little children just for ***** and giggles and still lives with their mom..........FAIL FYL man FYL
Sniperslayer 4
So funny but messed up
ojuice13 3
hahaha she's a keeper
ilove2lovemylove 10
Dude, you have serious issues
dt520 4
does she complain if you finish early?
ashleymorin 2
bahhaha .. if thaats whaat turns you on .. theen haave fun . ;P
liiipzs0swe3t 0
fake
DarlingNikki91 4
Haha, good for you! At least you're honest! When you do get a girlfriend I think you should keep the sock ex to yourself. I can't stop laughing! Best FML!! xD
MaiDeath 0
Wow...dude u have some issues