Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. Halfway through he asked me what day it was. I told him, "Friday." He jumped up and ran over to the TV yelling, "Oh my God! Shark week is almost over!!" I was cock-blocked by the Discovery Channel. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. All of a sudden he jumped off of me, going "shit, shit!". Worried, i asked him what was wrong. He shouted "I forgot to set my TiVO!" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The TV was on with the volume low, as we had been too preoccupied to turn it off. All of a sudden, my boyfriend stopped mid-thrust. He was watching the TV. House MD was on. He'd stopped to watch the differential diagnosis. FML
Today, while at the beach, as a joke, I told my girlfriend that I was a shark. She then poked my eyes and punched me in the nose. When I started to get mad, she just shrugged and asked, "What? You're the one that wanted to be a shark. Don't you watch Shark Week?" FML
Today, I started my period almost a week earlier than I expected to. I also happened to be at the beach with a guy that I really liked when it started. He was the one who noticed, and he informed me by saying that we couldn't go back in the water or we would be eaten by sharks. FML
Today, I was on the webcam with my boyfriend. I could see that he was on the couch, and alone, so I took off my shirt and smiled, waiting to see his reaction. He smiled at me but then kept looking in another direction. I playfully asked "What's so distracting?" His answer: "History Channel". FML
Today, my boyfriend was watching TV, when we started getting frisky. I'd just started to give him a blowjob when he pushed me off and said, "Fun's over." Dragon Ball Z had just come back on. He's 21. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, while we changed positions, he shouts, "Power Rangers - It's Morphin' Time!" FML
Today, I was watching TV with my husband, and he started getting frisky. When the commercial break started, we started having sex. When he came, there were still two commercials left before the show resumed. FML
Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML
Today, things were getting heated between me and the guy I like, and we were about to have sex. I told him to turn the TV off so we can get started. His response? "But I like this show." FML
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Top comments
calcboi 0
Sharks: 1 You: 0 Discovery Channel FTW!
something41 0
I'd do the same thing he did. But still, that sucks.
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Comments (228)
whitedots1 0
WHAT?!?!?! I MISSED SHARK WEEK! ****!
PsychoMiko 0
Damn...FML for missing Shark Week. And FYL for not recording it for him.
LemonFairy 0
It's Shark Week! FYL for missing it! (I missed it at camp. D:)
Liz89 0
"Twat Swatting". Really? That's such an idiotic term. And it's totally offensive. And swatting is a completely different definition than blocking. Therefore, both **** blocking and twat swatting are different in meaning. **** blocking refers to both sexes, don't genderize everything. OP, I'm sorry. Get back at him next time he is enjoying sex with you
Knight05 0
Leave it to a derranged bitch to ruin a perfectly good statement. Shut your pie hole fatty!
Liz89 0
Hahahahaha....that's me laughing at your immature reply to me. I am not "derranged." look up what deranged means before you try to use it for an insult towards what I said. I was merely stating a simple argument. If you couldn't understand it that's not my fault.
Knight05 0
Your argument is pointless and stupid, because nobody other than myself gives a **** what you have to say, and I only care because I want to flame you for being a typical bitch who offers false opinons that nobody else shares. That is why you end up on the short end of the stick in domestic violence situations 90% of the time because you don't know when and when NOT to offer your opinons, and you don't know when to stop. Also it is genetically coded that women always need to have the last word. And you are fat and insecure which explains the emo-ness. All in All my final analysis is..... get in the kitchen and make me a sandwhich ***** and STFU?
Nintenduh1 0
... Wtf? :P
Liz89 0
No, i was writing that to some1 who wrote me soemthing totally stupid, my friend just told me that he erased or w/e his comment so it looks like i wrote to myself.
305alive 0
ydi for being a Jew
sophiofy 0
listen...shark week is serious me and my husband have been watching shark week at night instead of having sex...yeah it's that serious
Hurricanevenom 0
Dude, shark week beats Chuck Norris!
blueworld_fml 0
No...what we need is Chuck Norris hosting Shark Week and, as earlier noted, OP should be doing it doggy style so as to bask in the holiness and not have the boyfriend violate Man Law by missing Shark Week. Yes, Man Law should be amended to require the viewing of Shark Week in entirety on the largest television you can find.
Hacksaw 4
You can have sex any time. Shark Week comes but once a year.
Neferria 0
Hey, the Mythbusters special on sharks was awesome, okay? Stop hatin'.
frannytrois64 0
Stop whining, I think seeing miniature dogs survive shark attacks is WAY better then what ever you were doing. Your b/f is a wise man.