Today, I was having sex with a girl. She was really into it and not holding back on the noise...That is, until I received a text message from my little sister next door reading "If she is making that much noise, she is probably faking it...Trust me, I know." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having passionate sex with my girlfriend of nine months. She was making a lot of noise, so I told her to keep it down, and reminded her that my parents and sister downstairs. A few minutes later, I got a text from my sister, saying my parents wanted to make sure I was wearing a condom. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML
Today, I had to fall asleep to my next-door neighbors having sex because our walls are paper thin. What bothered me the most wasn't listening to them doing it, but knowing that she was faking it. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend, and I cheekily told him about something I'd read that's supposed to feel really good during sex. I then heard his sister sarcastically say, "Yeah, that does feel pretty good". Apparently he'd had me on speaker the whole time. FML
Today, I got a text from my neighbor complaining about my girlfriend and me being too noisy in bed. I'm at work. FML
Today, during sex I wasn’t really into it so I was letting my mind wander and it randomly settled on my sister's birthday and how I needed to buy a gift. As my husband seemed like he was about to finish, I faked my orgasm and accidentally moaned my sister's name. He heard me, so now he’s "concerned". FML
Today, my sister's boyfriend called while she was out. The second I answered he tried to have phone sex with me. When I explained to him that I wasn't my sister and that we just sound the same on the phone, he replied, "Don't care, let's keep going." FML
Today, my sister brought a guy home while our parents were out. They had sex in her bedroom. I heard everything. The worst part wasn't her stupidly excessive moaning; it was that the moans sounded eerily similar to a cow mooing. FML
Today, while making love to my boyfriend, my sister called my cell phone. Not wanting to face the consequences of not answering, I had a long conversation with her. My boyfriend kept going. FML
Today, my girlfriend left a message on my phone. It was just the sounds of her having sex with somebody. FML
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Top comments
sportmaster525 0
why did you check your text in the middle of your "activity"?
Anderling 33
That sucks. At least your sister's honest with you. FYL.
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Comments (135)
The_Cait 0
Wait..did you read the text while having sex? Sounds like she wasn't the only one pretending to be enjoying the sex.
kewl92 0
people who ******* scream during sex are idiots.
coolbeans26 12
Stated by someone who clearly has never made anyone scream during sex
mj2123 0
I think I like your sister. She sounds cool.
sovietkitsch 0
YDI for being bad in bed.
chrismace 11
That sucks, but it's still really funny. Besides that's what you get for having sex with her sister in the next room.
idontwantone 0
ok i am seriously about to pee my pants from laughing too hard. but really no checking text during sex. ruins the moment.
Knare 2
LOL. you have a awesome sister!!
liveBabylon 0
when I was 9, me my brother (14) at the time, and his girlfriend were drinking i got drunk passed out and I woke up to them ******* while I was on the bed :( the vision is still stuck in my head.
RavishMe77 0
Ahahahaha, your little sister is hilarious! However, seriously, you don't check a text during sex. You just don't.
always_his 2
YDI. If you were any good she wouldn't be faking for your ego. I say her life is pretty ******.