Today, I was having sex with a girl. She was really into it and not holding back on the noise...That is, until I received a text message from my little sister next door reading "If she is making that much noise, she is probably faking it...Trust me, I know." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having passionate sex with my girlfriend of nine months. She was making a lot of noise, so I told her to keep it down, and reminded her that my parents and sister downstairs. A few minutes later, I got a text from my sister, saying my parents wanted to make sure I was wearing a condom. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML
Today, I had to fall asleep to my next-door neighbors having sex because our walls are paper thin. What bothered me the most wasn't listening to them doing it, but knowing that she was faking it. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend, and I cheekily told him about something I'd read that's supposed to feel really good during sex. I then heard his sister sarcastically say, "Yeah, that does feel pretty good". Apparently he'd had me on speaker the whole time. FML
Today, I got a text from my neighbor complaining about my girlfriend and me being too noisy in bed. I'm at work. FML
Today, during sex I wasn’t really into it so I was letting my mind wander and it randomly settled on my sister's birthday and how I needed to buy a gift. As my husband seemed like he was about to finish, I faked my orgasm and accidentally moaned my sister's name. He heard me, so now he’s "concerned". FML
Today, my sister's boyfriend called while she was out. The second I answered he tried to have phone sex with me. When I explained to him that I wasn't my sister and that we just sound the same on the phone, he replied, "Don't care, let's keep going." FML
Today, my sister brought a guy home while our parents were out. They had sex in her bedroom. I heard everything. The worst part wasn't her stupidly excessive moaning; it was that the moans sounded eerily similar to a cow mooing. FML
Today, while making love to my boyfriend, my sister called my cell phone. Not wanting to face the consequences of not answering, I had a long conversation with her. My boyfriend kept going. FML
Today, my girlfriend left a message on my phone. It was just the sounds of her having sex with somebody. FML
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Top comments
sportmaster525 0
why did you check your text in the middle of your "activity"?
Anderling 33
That sucks. At least your sister's honest with you. FYL.
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Comments (135)
daarlingdamsel 0
Phone+sex=she probably was faking it. I mean, if you are checking your texts during sex you must be bored or boring. Also, it's nasty to have noisy sex with any member of the family in the house, I don't care if she's 25 and you are 30, that is just...ew...
mylifefmlsoml 0
wow ur little sis must b a hore
paopao2 0
tell me obout it itsinsalting to all of us lol
elsieenchanted 0
Pwned. By your little sister. :D
teehee520 0
Agreed. Sounds just like the one with the mom texting the OP about the girl faking and the dad also agreeing.
JustStayHome 0
Your little sister is my hero. :)
susu_fml 0
u kinda deserved it...i mean if your gonna do your gf while your sister is in the other room dont be surprised if she doesnt appreciate hearing her older brother's gf ****** to her BIG BRO! you might want to me more considerate, and ur little sister is awesome for sending that text=] ps: im guessing shes a screamer too=]
Crasken 0
Maybe she wants to hear her older brother having sex :O
Neferria 0
How smart of you to have sex when your sister is at home. Learn some decency, stupid. Or tell the girl to stay quiet.
whitneyyy 0
Hahaha most of not been to great If you were txting
MoobyTheCow 2
Her screaming doesn't mean she's faking. Some girls really are screamers. If you suspect she's faking, look for these signs: 1. Rapid heart rate - A real ****** really gets the heart beating fast. Checking her wrist pulse is a bit obvious, but a cleverly placed hand on her chest/neck/femoral/brachial artery during or an ear on those areas after can get you the info you need. Don't go by breathing because that's often part of the show. 2. Involuntary muscle contractions - During ******, the ****** contracts. If she's faking it, this will be missing. 3. Hypersensitivity - Like guys, most girls get sensitive after ******. Unless she's really into details, there's a good chance she won't think of that. 4. Variance - If she screams as hard when you hit "the spots" as she does when you don't, something's up. Though a savvy faker might think of this.
DameGreyWulf 1
Mm, I thought it was only "some" guys and girls who got sensitive? Because as far as researched, a lot of guys can keep at it for a while (ie: there's no sensitivity). Girls on the other hand I haven't much looked into.
medfly 2
you're supposed to have a rapid pulse if you are doing exercise, which can happen anyway during sex. and for heaven's sake, how is he supposed to check her pulse and such during sex, and without her noticing?
claritin 0
1. You're heart rate can easily be raised just because you're having sex and it's physical activity. 2. Females can voluntarily contract their vaginal muscles. I doubt a guy could tell the difference. 3. Some girls get sensitive, some don't. It's not indicative of much. 4. Okay, I'll give you this one.