Today, I had to fall asleep to my next-door neighbors having sex because our walls are paper thin. What bothered me the most wasn't listening to them doing it, but knowing that she was faking it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came back to my dorm only to hear my neighbor having loud sex. I thought I was just thinking when I said, "At least do it against the other wall," but when I was left later on, he walked by, apologized and said that he thought I wasn't home, and promised to be more quiet next time. FML
Today, for the second week in a row, I woke up to the sound of my awful upstairs neighbors having sex between the hours of 1 and 3 AM. Their bed is so noisy, and earplugs barely help. At this point, based on the rhythm of their bed squeaking, I can tell when they're about to finish, and I hate it. FML
Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel room. They thought I was asleep. FML
Today, I've had no sleep. Why? Because my housemate has a new girlfriend and the walls are too thin. After round three of them shagging, I was exhausted from holding my breath each time the new girlfriend screamed. I also realised that was the closest I'd been to sex in months. FML
Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. She was really into it and not holding back on the noise...That is, until I received a text message from my little sister next door reading "If she is making that much noise, she is probably faking it...Trust me, I know." FML
Today, I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over. Things got intimate, and I tried my hardest not to make too much noise. However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we heard my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking". FML
Today, I pretended to be asleep when my mom and her best friend came home because I was tired as hell and I didn't want to be around them. I was then treated to a loud conversation about my mom's first time with a woman through our paper-thin walls. FML
Today, I couldn't fall asleep till 3am and was woken approximately every hour or so. Why? I found out my new upstairs neighbors have a very active love life. She's a screamer. FML
Today, I wanted to sleep in after a rough week, only to be woken up by my roommate's sex screams and the pounding of her bed against the wall. Earplugs did not help. FML
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Top comments
organizse 28
Bang on the walls and tell him "I can do better"
julianbozikovic 20
Leave a sex tip book for your neighbor on his door! I think he'll get the hint :D
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Comments (89)
organizse 28
Bang on the walls and tell him "I can do better"
Livin_Like_Larry 29
I'm dying right now!
bigmanfrmltlrock 5
best come back!!!
tinyrosie 21
#31, shall I plan the funeral?
BlondePsycho 43
Which better? The faking or the pleasing his girlfriend better?
LeashaJoy5595 28
This is like double insult. I mean telling a guy that he isn't any good and then as a woman saying you could better... I'd like an open wound with a side of lemon please, thanks.
kewpiesuicide 29
I'm a woman and I can say that I could do better. Maybe I'm biased but a woman knows what a woman wants.
xx000o 27
Bang on the wall and tell her to STOP FAKING IT.
WhatsYOURname6 25
Nothing worse than a woman faking an ******. Dramatic!
gracehi 33
What about a man faking an ******?
Steve95401 49
Not having sex at all is a lot worse than faking an ****** during sex.
BlindlyWandering 17
Except the man being unable to make her achieve a real one.
ElectroThunder28 16
Not always about being unable to, 29. Some guys don't care
BlondePsycho 43
A guy friend told me a joke once that went: "Why do women fake orgasms? Because they think we care." But thats the same punchline to "Why do guys send women dick pics?"
slackerjoe 22
Some women are just very vocal. Just because she is moaning or even screaming doesn't necessarily mean its fake, or even an ******. Maybe she just wants to let him know that he's doing it right.
higgysaurus 18
Under the threat of sounding like an idiot, can someone please explain how you can tell so clearly? :)
JohnForge 13
How do men "fake" an ****** exactly?
icedexplosion 19
Earplugs are always good friends in these situations :)
militarybrat 21
Ive tried earplugs for other reasons but could never hear my alarm clock. It Might not be an option for op.
incoherentrmblr 22
Time to find a new apartment...
Amanyyyyyy 29
Follow Sheldon's advice and get noise-canceling headphones :)
julianbozikovic 20
Leave a sex tip book for your neighbor on his door! I think he'll get the hint :D
hamrtym 15
Leave her a performance review and under the oral communication category write, needs to be more sincere.
CAC_Boomerang 24
If I were in this position, I'd buy a"Sex for Dummies" book and give it it him. Heck, throw in a card with "Erections need direction!" Written in it as a motive to read the book.
fusionss 7
Fight fire with fire. Fake moan back!
Econforthwin 15
She should try to mimic her. That would be funny, "stop copying me!!"
EvilLittleGirl 24
that's actually nice of you in a weird twisted way..
WattledParsley 11
How in any way at all is that nice of him
WattledParsley 11
How in any way at all is that nice
iPixiee 23
I agree with 44, how is that nice?
mishwarner 14
He/she is most concerned about the apparent lack of enjoyment
EvilLittleGirl 24
#44 #48 OP gets the struggle of faking an ****** and actually feels sorry for the girl. That is how.
Scorpio1691 29
Or tell her not to be so obvious in her moaning.
JKPwnage 27
Blast your favorite annoying music through the walls (preferably while they're banging)
BlindlyWandering 17
Or some super cheesy **** music
bazookajoey 27
Yodelling always does the trick :)
UhHuhHoney 20
Cheap 70's **** music
Retaheki 27
-70s guitar riff starts playing-
clickme 17
So what if she's faking or not? Stop being so nosy and Whiney
Kazze 31
It's not being "nosey" when you can hear it loud and clear through the wall. As for the "whiny" part: it wasn't whiny at all. Do you even know what the point of FML is? Lastly: Welcome to the community. Now stop being an ass.
gearhead369 20
Ok bud
Miss_Chevious 37
live ****!! well partially at least...