Today, I got a text from my neighbor complaining about my girlfriend and me being too noisy in bed. I'm at work. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my landlord sent me a text asking me to please keep it down because our loud Wednesday night sex sessions are disturbing other tenants in the building. Wednesday is my night shift every week so my wife is home alone, or at least I thought she was. FML
Today, my new neighbor asked if I could keep my dog from yapping during the evenings, because it kept him awake last night. I don't have a dog, but I apologized anyway. I didn't have the heart to admit that those are the sounds my girlfriend makes during sex. FML
Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML
Today, and for the fourth time in a week, my 60-year-old neighbors have woken me up by having obnoxiously loud sex. Complete with over the top moaning and the headboard smashing against our shared wall. When I asked them nicely to quiet down, they laughed and called me jealous. FML
Today, my girlfriend left a message on my phone. It was just the sounds of her having sex with somebody. FML
Today, right after sex, my girlfriend apologized to the neighbor for the screaming. He thanked her for the entertainment. FML
Today, while entering the building I live in, I walked into my neighbor who winked at me and said last night must have been great. After I asked why, he said he could hear my girlfriend moaning and screaming, and that I must be pretty good at it. I was just coming back from a week overseas. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. She was really into it and not holding back on the noise...That is, until I received a text message from my little sister next door reading "If she is making that much noise, she is probably faking it...Trust me, I know." FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML
Today, after 3 days of interrupted sleep, I confronted my new neighbor about the noise his wife keeps making during their "private time". He then let me know the noise is actually from his daughter, who's mentally disabled and isn't taking the move well. FML
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Top comments
EverestMelting 23
I would probably go to your neighbor and talk to him and make sure of exactly what he or she heard. Good luck and hope it works in your favor, OP.
BeastyMcbeast 19
Hopefully they were talking about at night and not at that moment. If they were talking about the latter then I'm sorry Op. That's not fun at all. Might be time to have a serious talk with your girlfriend if it indeed was the latter.
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Comments (81)
EverestMelting 23
I would probably go to your neighbor and talk to him and make sure of exactly what he or she heard. Good luck and hope it works in your favor, OP.
zahidnasir 22
Why would you go?
mfmylifesrsly 30
That's what I'm thinking, 1. If the neighbor just heard OPs girlfriend she could have just been masturbating.
AnnaLinject 10
Maybe she's just taking care of herself? pokerface.jpg
tormcn 26
Or someone else is taking care of her?
WhoCouldIBe 11
#20 I'd take care of you
goldcock19 9
Who makes that much noise "taking care" of themselves?
FMLusername969 21
Could have been ****?
Colon_Man 17
Women's tennis.
cynthianicole95 9
Plenty of women.
Trin_Tran 26
If it's true, then you mean ex-girlfriend right, OP ?
asgartner 6
Stop embarrassing yourself
BeastyMcbeast 19
Hopefully they were talking about at night and not at that moment. If they were talking about the latter then I'm sorry Op. That's not fun at all. Might be time to have a serious talk with your girlfriend if it indeed was the latter.
swaglesshipster 23
Hopefully he's wrong about what he heard! Best of luck to you :D
MandieL 27
Talk to your girlfriend before you jump to any conclusions. Your neighbors could have heard her watching **** and fixing herself for all you know. If that's the case, maybe you could use this to your advantage ;)
Polynomial 28
My first thought too.
Badkarma4u 17
Or watching one of the many movies and cable tv shows with long drawn out sex scenes.
devildog562 33
She's doing it all by herself . She don't need nobody else
meliodafool_ 15
She's a strong independent woman who don't need no man.
Dodge4x4Ram 46
that killer Bose system though.
King_ibloK 12
Sounds like your girlfriend is at work too.
Cringey 18
Could be a misunderstanding, but if not it could be a blessing in disguise. You should have a talk with her. FYL op