Today, I was having sex with a girl. She was really into it and not holding back on the noise...That is, until I received a text message from my little sister next door reading "If she is making that much noise, she is probably faking it...Trust me, I know." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was having passionate sex with my girlfriend of nine months. She was making a lot of noise, so I told her to keep it down, and reminded her that my parents and sister downstairs. A few minutes later, I got a text from my sister, saying my parents wanted to make sure I was wearing a condom. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML
Today, I had to fall asleep to my next-door neighbors having sex because our walls are paper thin. What bothered me the most wasn't listening to them doing it, but knowing that she was faking it. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend, and I cheekily told him about something I'd read that's supposed to feel really good during sex. I then heard his sister sarcastically say, "Yeah, that does feel pretty good". Apparently he'd had me on speaker the whole time. FML
Today, I got a text from my neighbor complaining about my girlfriend and me being too noisy in bed. I'm at work. FML
Today, during sex I wasn’t really into it so I was letting my mind wander and it randomly settled on my sister's birthday and how I needed to buy a gift. As my husband seemed like he was about to finish, I faked my orgasm and accidentally moaned my sister's name. He heard me, so now he’s "concerned". FML
Today, my sister's boyfriend called while she was out. The second I answered he tried to have phone sex with me. When I explained to him that I wasn't my sister and that we just sound the same on the phone, he replied, "Don't care, let's keep going." FML
Today, my sister brought a guy home while our parents were out. They had sex in her bedroom. I heard everything. The worst part wasn't her stupidly excessive moaning; it was that the moans sounded eerily similar to a cow mooing. FML
Today, while making love to my boyfriend, my sister called my cell phone. Not wanting to face the consequences of not answering, I had a long conversation with her. My boyfriend kept going. FML
Today, my girlfriend left a message on my phone. It was just the sounds of her having sex with somebody. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
sportmaster525 0
why did you check your text in the middle of your "activity"?
Anderling 33
That sucks. At least your sister's honest with you. FYL.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (135)
avalanche719 0
Eh you said "girl" not "girlfriend" so **** what the ***** thinks, you got some ass!
mobius8 0
If they're not dating, why is she the ***** and not him?
urMOMZin2TROLLZ 0
Because guys can't be ******. Only girls can.
mobius8 0
No. You're just thinking of your mom.
genius_man16 1
Because double standards rule! :D
avalanche719 0
They're probably both ****** EXCEPT he had to work to get her into bed. Her? Not So Much. But if it's a one night stand? Screw it, you're getting laid and adding a notch to the belt loop. Forget Feelings
urMOMZin2TROLLZ 0
Ok. Considering I was put up for adoption, your probably right, my mom couldve been a *****. And that adds to my point. Guys can't be ******. Because only girls can and my mom was a girl. I think.
tpag3r 0
troll win
bexox 0
Ever heard the term "manwhore"?
plexico 4
Or "gigolo?"
urMOMZin2TROLLZ 0
Ever heard the saying "Shut the **** up the winner has already been announced"?
bexox 0
Oh! Or "escort"?
escape2music 0
YDI for doing it when your little sister was in the house. Get a brain. I'm scarred for life from when my brother would do his girlfriend when i was right down the hall. And why did you answer a text when you were having sex?
XxmidnightXx4545 0
Wow your life sucks.
Kay_Ell_Dee 0
Yup, I agree with your sister.. if she was making THAT much noise, then chances are she was faking it. & dang she must not have been a good lay if you were checking text messages during sex! :p
CL41RE 0
YDI for having sex with just a girl
SweetieLish 0
If this is actually real, it totally made my day.
NobodyUKnow 0
Paris Hilton stops in the middle of sex to answer her phone, why can't everyone else?
bexox 0
Right. We should all strive to be like Paris Hilton. *gag*
letitbe56 0
Plus, if she's faking it, she probably doesn't like you that much. If a guy thinks he showed you a really good time, he won't get all pouty when you don't want to stay the night. And he might even walk you home! Honestly though, have some respect for your sister. Just tell your partner the walls are thin and you need to be quiet. Not that hard. Why to the dee to the eye.
deaditegirl 0
YDI- if you're the kind who checks text messages during sex, she probably *is* faking it.
berrySMOOTHIE 0
Why in the hell would you be checking your text messages while having sex. No. That would have pissed me off if I was your girlfriend.