Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about sex and I asked him if he had ever finished inside a woman. He looked directly into my eyes and said, "Babe... I have a son, remember?" Yeah, I forgot. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted to me that the picture of "him as a baby" is really his son. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he finished before me. I thought that he was going to try and get hard again so we could continue. Unfortunately, he turned to me and said to me, "Don't worry, I'll re-spawn in a few minutes." I lost it completely. FML
Today, as I had a chat with my boyfriend and a couple of his friends, one of them had brought up my boyfriend's son and his other child who was due any day now. The conversation would have went well, had I known that he had a son and a pregnant girlfriend. FML
Today, the wife and I were in the middle of having sex. She was bent over and I was taking her to pound town. I look over to see my 3 year-old son standing in the doorway, humping air. FML
Today, a woman came up to me and sheepishly asked if my son is single. He's not my son, he's my boyfriend. FML
Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. During the act, he looked deep in to my eyes before whispering, "Up the arse next time?" FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Are you guys 13 or something?
Glowworm56 27
This could only be even funnier if the son was yours!
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Comments (25)
BurnInDemonFire 39
It's a good thing you didn't forget while his son was visiting, and asked your boyfriend that question while his son was in the room with you.
weaboo 12
That’d be a very awkward question if anyone else was in the room
RichardPencil 32
Are you guys 13 or something?
AsbelLhant_fml 15
why is this rated so high.... what does being 13 and cumming inside of a woman have to do with anything? are you supposed to cum inside women after 13?
Glowworm56 27
This could only be even funnier if the son was yours!
PenguinPal3017 19
He doesn't finish inside you? I am so confused. Isn't that how sex usually works? I might be doing it wrong...
sunnyray812 42
They might not be having sex yet. Some couples wait a while.
RichardPencil 32
Not if your pull-out game is strong. Just stick with the “sticky situation” comments. It would work well here.
PenguinPal3017 19
There's more to my personality than "sticky situation" comments. I'm a complex human being.
riley873 21
condoms
Mungolikecandy 19
Maybe they watch too much ****?
manb91uk 22
Some people have watched so much ****, they think pulling out and spraying is how it's done... Like fertilising the crops - gotta spray your seeds all over the place
oped01 8
Tell him now he gets to beat off to all your new boyfriends too
zuckerburg 21
There's probably a good reason why he doesn't finish inside you. He learned his lesson the first time around, and most probably, realizes he can't ever finish inside you now, otherwise his 2nd child might need special education for the rest of their lives, and that's alimony he can't afford...
jbuckets_404 39
No, that's called child support, not alimony.
alycion 39
And it’s not really a super effective way to avoid a second child unless some other form of birth control is being used as well. Not getting a girl pregnant with that method is like getting lucky playing Russian roulette.
VanTufty 13
🙄
jbuckets_404 39
That assumes that he's the biological father. ("Oh, Maury!")
fjvitt 14
I guess you like facials?
Emma Marshall_738558922 12
Wouldn't you do that anyway....