Today, since my finals are starting tomorrow, I made a joke about setting my math books on fire. I laughed. Friends laughed. Parents laughed. Guess what subject just managed to actually get in touch with my scented candles? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, right before the most important final of my education, I got a text from my mom saying my house had burned to the ground, and my children were outside waiting for the firemen. I panicked, left school, and sped home… all for her to laugh and tell me it was “just a joke.” FML
Today, after burning all my past-papers, books and notes in celebration of finishing maths forever, I found out I have to re-take my maths exam to get the minimum grade for college. FML
Today, my mom was more upset about my 67 on an Algebra test than my sister almost setting the house on fire. FML
Today, a student set me on fire while I was lecturing my class about proper lab safety. FML
Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener and turned my faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon, with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. FML
Today, in calculus, our substitute teacher told me I was smart. Everybody in the class, including my friends, burst out laughing. FML
Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML
Today, I have to take a midterm, which is worth a large part of my grade. All our teacher has taught us so far is how to roast s'mores over a Bunsen burner, and how to make gummy bears explode. Our test is on kinetics. FML
Today, I accidentally left my textbook at home. Normally this wouldn't be an issue, but today was my class final. Since it was an open-book final, I'd decided not to study for it. I'm pretty sure I failed. FML
Today, my chemistry professor made us all leave our classroom mid-lab because the class was complaining of the smell, and he was worried that there was a gas leak from one of the Bunsen burners. There wasn't, but it's nice to know my "silent but deadly" smelled like it might actually kill. FML
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Top comments
KittyLahv 27
I guess Satan laughed too.
eyebrowzzz 21
Your parents won't be laughing when they have to pay that bill $$
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Comments (51)
KittyLahv 27
I guess Satan laughed too.
PSYqualiac 17
"I saw Satan laughing with delight, the day th music died."
Crystal4 23
I read that as "Santa"
TheSwegMaster69 11
Both are pretty similar: both wear red, both prefer the naughty ones to the nice ones…
Hiktmae 20
I sometimes accidentally leave my scented candles too close to my textbooks too.
wallamanut 14
#40 Since when does Santa prefer the naughty ones? I don't remember that bit being a part of my childhood.
eyebrowzzz 21
Your parents won't be laughing when they have to pay that bill $$
imapartypooper 15
Wow, him buying another didn't even cross my mind until I read your comment. Some math textbooks can be even $100-200 or more. :(
Hiimhaileypotter 53
If he's in college, they've already been paid for so at least they won't have pay again! Unless they're rented... Good luck if they are.
hard_candy 25
now everyone thinks you did it on purpose.
LikeYouGiveAShit 27
Well your clearly a genius. Ok maybe I overreacted a little but that's basically what the FML is about no need to repeat it :)
Z3R0G5 23
Hey, #2, genius, it is *you're*. :)
hard_candy 25
@22, you insult my intelligence, but 'like I give a shit'
PSYqualiac 17
Number 25, you're bad and you. should feel bad. Number 2 was right. It is "Your". It's not "You are parents..." that would just sound stupid.
sweetbliss3 37
it's funny how many people get the "yours," "too," and "there's" wrong.
GEFStryker 29
Hey #25, it's obviously a typo and he was replying to #22. Also, I would refrain from acting like a dick if you can't even keep track of your own punctuation, or understand the context of a reply that is directly underneath the original post the reply containing a typo is referencing. Think you're capable of understanding that, your literary highness?
BSnapZ 21
Number 31, you're the one who should feel bad. Number 25 was referring number 2's first sentence: "well your clearly a genius"
LikeYouGiveAShit 27
touché' I realise that typo now and I'm eating humble pie. But I suggest you learn to count 25.
PrinPrinLife 16
That sucks. Sorry to hearx good luck studying. =)
MrConcise 35
Scented candles smell fear. This was no accident. Strike back, OP. Burn them down to nubs.
ThongWarrior 17
Karma took a laugh I guess.
tony1891 22
x+y=fire
DonPandon 15
Funniest story ever
Arrow26 4
You know what they say...Play with scented candles, textbooks are bound to get burned.
tantanpanda 26
this will be my new saying.
Ayuki_fml 18
It's okay OP, even though you're not laughing anymore, we are.