Today, I was having amazing sex with this guy I had been seeing for a while. It got really intense, so did my moans. Guys usually like when I moan, but he just put his hands over my mouth and told me to "shut up" because it sounded like "pig noises". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, the guy I have been seeing stopped me in the middle of sex and told me to finish him off by going down on him instead. After a few minutes, I looked up to discover that the noises I had thought were moans of pleasure were actually the sounds of him snoring. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my current booty-call when he thought it would be funny to make animal sounds. He "baa-ed", "moo-ed", and "gobbled" until losing his erection from intense laughter, leaving me there very confused and unsatisfied. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that I needed to moan louder so that he knew I was enjoying it. Reluctantly, I put a little 'umph' into my moans during the next round. He pulled out and said, "It's just awkward now." FML
Today, the guy I'm seeing and I were having sex. While I was having my orgasm, he looked at me and said "SHHHH!". FML
Today, my girlfriend started making pig noises during sex. FML
Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He's the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I like it when he moans while we're having sex. Unfortunately, he interpreted that as "milk it". The sound is so obnoxious, it's starting to ruin the sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "Uh-huh," "Not too bad," and "Yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML
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Top comments
sarcasm_ftw 0
be careful if he calls you "babe" it might have mixed messages now
AmberHall 2
Next time just lie there and give no indication that you are enjoying it at all. That will irritate him even more. He sounds insensitive and a bit arrogant expecting people to accommodate their sexual responses to him
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Comments (218)
goldberg2046 0
oink oink
youaresofucked 0
oink oink
eliz3 0
clearly this is either an fml or a ydi depending on whether you actually did sound like a pig...
The_Great_Zucchi 15
"Did my moans" ? What are you, a **** actress? What about just being you?
randomsloth 0
damnn....that sucks totally agree with #142
retro_squares 0
LMFAO @ #9 AND #10!!!!
kewl92 0
YDI it sounds ******* retarded when people overdo the voices. next time don't be so loud not everyone likes it
fmylife324 0
Who the hell moans like a pig?
skwelcher 0
like a pig you say? you could sing in a grindcore band!!!
candii_fml 0
whatta doucher....