Today, I was having amazing sex with this guy I had been seeing for a while. It got really intense, so did my moans. Guys usually like when I moan, but he just put his hands over my mouth and told me to "shut up" because it sounded like "pig noises". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, the guy I have been seeing stopped me in the middle of sex and told me to finish him off by going down on him instead. After a few minutes, I looked up to discover that the noises I had thought were moans of pleasure were actually the sounds of him snoring. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my current booty-call when he thought it would be funny to make animal sounds. He "baa-ed", "moo-ed", and "gobbled" until losing his erection from intense laughter, leaving me there very confused and unsatisfied. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that I needed to moan louder so that he knew I was enjoying it. Reluctantly, I put a little 'umph' into my moans during the next round. He pulled out and said, "It's just awkward now." FML
Today, the guy I'm seeing and I were having sex. While I was having my orgasm, he looked at me and said "SHHHH!". FML
Today, my girlfriend started making pig noises during sex. FML
Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He's the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I like it when he moans while we're having sex. Unfortunately, he interpreted that as "milk it". The sound is so obnoxious, it's starting to ruin the sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "Uh-huh," "Not too bad," and "Yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML
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Top comments
sarcasm_ftw 0
be careful if he calls you "babe" it might have mixed messages now
AmberHall 2
Next time just lie there and give no indication that you are enjoying it at all. That will irritate him even more. He sounds insensitive and a bit arrogant expecting people to accommodate their sexual responses to him
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Comments (218)
Sweet24 0
#156, it's 2009, who waits til marriage anymore?
fml_z123z 0
#159 people who wait for marraige r people who save their virtue for the people they want to spend the rest of their life with... its so worth while to wait
lilceej 0
Good God, people. She might not have been fake. Maybe it was so intense that they just kind of happened. Sometimes it's hard to control your voice in the bedroom.
trustno1fox 0
******* ****. how many guys does she ****? YD to the max.
cuberto 0
Just letting you know, i'm not fat, i don't moan like a pig. He was a ****, and i took him to court for abuse. Yeah consider that next time you call someone a pig.
whomajigi 0
What a sweet considerate man. *rolls eyes* No wait, the other thing. Seriously, you can't help the sounds you make when you're enjoying yourself. He shouldn't have made you self conscious and done that, what a dick move.
cuberto 0
Oh and it wasn't fake, i can't help but moan. SORRY i didn't put it into a context that suited every single one of you. And it was my choice whether to wait tilll marriage or not, i'm catholic and i'll repent for my sins. But untill them keep those type of opinions to yourself, and it was only another two guys okay? Half you guys out there that commented me would of slept with way more chicks than i slept with guys, don't give me that double standard men rank higher them the female population crap.
Dogmaw 0
Wow. I thought Cuberto was a dude, based on earlier posts. Yer kinda dicky for a chick :) Now, give me your address and we'll see about these "pig noises".
soccer_girl2442 0
whatta a bitch. I would of kicked the shit out of the bastard.(: hahaha
Nate92 0
personally i love it when a girl moans, makes me feel like im doing something right, weather its genuine or not i dont know, but i still like it