Today, I was having amazing sex with this guy I had been seeing for a while. It got really intense, so did my moans. Guys usually like when I moan, but he just put his hands over my mouth and told me to "shut up" because it sounded like "pig noises". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, the guy I have been seeing stopped me in the middle of sex and told me to finish him off by going down on him instead. After a few minutes, I looked up to discover that the noises I had thought were moans of pleasure were actually the sounds of him snoring. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my current booty-call when he thought it would be funny to make animal sounds. He "baa-ed", "moo-ed", and "gobbled" until losing his erection from intense laughter, leaving me there very confused and unsatisfied. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that I needed to moan louder so that he knew I was enjoying it. Reluctantly, I put a little 'umph' into my moans during the next round. He pulled out and said, "It's just awkward now." FML
Today, the guy I'm seeing and I were having sex. While I was having my orgasm, he looked at me and said "SHHHH!". FML
Today, my girlfriend started making pig noises during sex. FML
Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He's the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I like it when he moans while we're having sex. Unfortunately, he interpreted that as "milk it". The sound is so obnoxious, it's starting to ruin the sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "Uh-huh," "Not too bad," and "Yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML
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Top comments
sarcasm_ftw 0
be careful if he calls you "babe" it might have mixed messages now
AmberHall 2
Next time just lie there and give no indication that you are enjoying it at all. That will irritate him even more. He sounds insensitive and a bit arrogant expecting people to accommodate their sexual responses to him
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Comments (218)
jpacker 0
WOOW what a douche
GiannaxRevenge 0
HAHAHA # 6 And # 10 you're a ******* genius. And honestly, YDI, because the fact that you just said 'usually' shows you're a filthy *****.
paigeharper 0
YOU SHOULD DEFIANTLY GO WITH WHAT #31 SAID! that would be soo funny! #31 #31 #31 #31 #31 #31
Axbot 0
aww..
LaLunaLolita_fml 0
tell him it's the sound of his limp dick trying to get in. FYL.
c3ns0r3dn4m3 0
damn swine flu.. nawh jkk its cool some guys GIGGLE during sex :P
samanthakay9398 0
next time.. just act like your not even feeling anything.. just be like "c'mon, is that all you gott?? im waiting here. " XD
amazingkate 0
you "did your moans"? you have a repertoire? maybe he didn't like the way you sound because you've been practicing to **** too much, and it doesn't have that certain subtle believability to it.
Igor_g5 0
Personally my GF can moan, groan, grunt, squeal, oink or make any other sound that indicates that I'm doing a good job. And I don't care if everybody else in the house can hear it. Actually I kind of like that everybody can hear it. Sometimes I put my hand over her mouth but not to shut her up. Just playing with her lips. She likes it. But I would never tryto shut her up. The guys a jerk. Move on and find someone who doesn't mind the sounds you make.
ZWolfeh 0
YDI for sounding like a pig. Were you trying to turn him off?