Today, I collected a package from a handsome UPS guy. We exchanged smiles, and he even noticeably checked me out. I was feeling really confident for the first time in a while. Then I went inside and saw that I had two huge breastmilk spots on my chest. FML
BBeffedmylife tells us more.
OP here! Stoked that this got published! A couple of things... This actually happened last year. I had just had my daughter a couple months prior. For those of you who have never had children, it takes awhile to be comfortable with your body after being pregnant and giving birth to baby. Also, for those of you wondering, I am actually a married woman. Married women can still find someone attractive without wanting to get in their pants. I was mostly just flattered that someone was actually taking notice in me after feeling so huge and unattractive for the past year. Thank you so much for the positive comments!! A lot of you made me smile and laugh!
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
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Top comments
1dvs_bstd 41
le husband shows up, wearing a bane mask "well hello there Mr. UPS man, you should have left my wife alone! Now Let's go for a drive."
746278Ab 14
Haha maybe he's into great moms! No worries, if he still checked you out with stains just image you without them next time!
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Comments (120)
Andyournameis 16
Maybe he found them attractive
brettrb 18
I would venture to say that most human beings aren't turned on by most bodily fluids..
1dvs_bstd 41
you haven't been watching ****, have you? also, why are the comments on fml so one dimensional? "sorry OP" "Better luck next time OP" "you mean ex right?!" it's like everyone is afraid of saying what is in their mind or telling a joke or sh!t.
wolfgold2 20
That's.... gross.
Wakachulak 22
Good catch #26, that's cause no one wants to cross the Hello Kitty gang, who downvote everything that's not OTT compassionate and respectful. Bastards.
Dabombr 11
@26, If you make a joke that may be construed as slightly mean or harsh, you get an immediate downvote. OP, just laugh it off. You should never see him again.
MrConcise 35
@26 @58 - I try to make all my comments meaningful, but most of my jokes are just too dry or offensive. I get buried a lot. :)
Mirelly13 6
Maybe he wanted some MILF and cookies. That's all(;
Dlzq 22
@18, keyword: most
Ololo_fml 16
maybe he really liked yor milky ways OP, don'be shy
C7_fml 17
My thoughts exactly! I had the same theory but never thought of calling the the hello kitty gang. Honestly no one goes on Fml to feel pity and compassion for first world problems. They go on to laugh their a$$es off and feel better about their own lives.
Hyunnybunny 3
I'm sorry if this is a stupid question, but what's a "Hello Kitty Gang"?
shksha22 7
Speak for yourself buddy.
badgercheese94 16
#58, that sounded like she should avoid him purposely lol
746278Ab 14
Haha maybe he's into great moms! No worries, if he still checked you out with stains just image you without them next time!
slooby_fml 25
I feel like him "checking her out" was him looking down at the stains and back up
gjikvtj 18
Maybe he's turned on by minivans and soccer practice too
chutney_02 22
I bet she's a MILF
brenton490 19
I think the real question here is what color shirt was she wearing? That can totally change what had went down.
shivamtrivedi 24
Well, at least his noticeable checking out means that he liked what he saw. You've given a nice show, OP. You can still remain confident about your body.
fearlesscooldude 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You're checking out a dude when your in a relationship?
ShadowWhovian 14
Just because she has a kid doesn't mean she is in a relationship. She could very well be a single mom.
greeneyebeauty9 28
you're*
tournamentdecide 33
He said you're... There was no correction needed.
greeneyebeauty9 28
....when YOU'RE in a relationship. I know what I'm talking about.
Enslaved 38
How do we know the OP is not one of those crazy ladies that still nurse their kid in their tweens, "Game of Throne" style?
BBeffedmylife 28
I definitely don't! Lol but I do love the GOT reference!
Enslaved 38
I wrote this before I scrolled down and saw your reply. Congrats on your baby. (:
BBeffedmylife 28
Thanks! She's my dragon baby!
carabobara 7
riiiiight, she should really cast her eyes downward in the presence of a male
zandalee 20
My youngest is a wee dragon plus she's an Aquarius! She is basically a hippy chick with attitude, perfection! congrats on your baby!!
greeneyebeauty9 28
Weird how my first comment was thumbed down but my second comment wasn't. alrighty then.
shksha22 7
Some kinda dumb.
Fx13mz 7
He got you wet by just looking at you.
foxwasalamb 24
nope
TheBurdenOfLife 9
Maybe he wants a share of that. I heard breast milk is good.
Tthug 34
It's apparently a new supplement for serious body builders.
foxwasalamb 24
breast milk does have a lot of different uses. if your into it
pwnman 33
HEY! 27 REMEMBERS THAT FML!
marcranger 29
And 63 remembers the follow up to that FML! My eyes are still bleeding from the caps lock abuse!
sofakingmexican 15
This sounds like the start of a porno
coklara 15
MILF takes huge package from delivery man [HD]
sydstoomuch 19
Rofl!!
worldclassrager 41
You never know what can perk a guy...it's maybe something he likes
dimple13194 10
Trust me.. He was checking you out
Adam5858 17
Well atleast you didnt see it while out there