Today, I stayed home from work to pick up my Switch 2. As I raced into the house and prepared for the magic of unboxing it, my wife called and ruined the moment by blathering about her boring day. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my Switch into work because I was the only one working, I figured if everyone had the day off, I could enjoy some me time. It turns out I did nothing but work. I put my Nintendo Switch with the bag orders I had to deliver to the post office, but I forgot to take out the Switch out of the bag. FML
Today, my wife whined that she couldn't sleep, while she had her eyes glued to her phone, her Switch in her lap, the TV on, and her bedside light shining in her face. I've long since learned not to comment on this. FML
Today, when I tried to play my new Switch, my girlfriend yelled at me to "put down the damn video games." I've barely had five minutes to use this thing without her bitching at me. The worst part? She gave it to me, for Christmas. FML
Today, I knew my wife and kid wouldn't be home until later, and I was excited to play video games and relax. The second I turned my computer on, the power went out. It came back on as my wife was pulling into the driveway. FML
Today, my wife called me at work, screaming in rage that she hated me, that I was a useless lump, that she wishes we'd never met. Did I have an affair or burn the house down? Nope. I set up the kids' backpacks for school today and forgot a library book that was due today. FML
Today, after a 16-hour work day, I came home to my husband. I talked to him for about 10 minutes, then realized that he wasn't answering me but had his headset on and was talking on Xbox live. Not even playing a game, just talking. FML
Today, I came home upset about the sexism in my work place. I just wanted to be alone, but my husband insisted we talk about it. I noticed he kept looking over and one of his hands was moving. He was playing video games the entire time I was spilling my guts. FML
Today, I got off work early to go home and surprise my girlfriend with lunch, only to come home to her in the middle of packing up all of her stuff. FML
Today, I secretly took a day off work, since I had to use up my vacation, and wanted a "me day." My wife called, and I was ready to pretend to be at work. Too bad the cat decided to come up behind me and meow loudly, alerting my wife that I was home. She's pissed. FML
Today, after days of my wife nagging me, I started working on the flat pack furniture she ordered. Every twenty minutes, she interrupted me to demand I stop and help her with something trivial and irrelevant. Now I remember why I postpone projects as long as possible. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Hangryko 32
I fervently hope she gets the Switch 2 in the divorce.
PuppiesKisses 19
God forbid you be a good husband before unboxing an expensive game consel that is almost exactly the same as the previous generation.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (6)
Hangryko 32
I fervently hope she gets the Switch 2 in the divorce.
GoogieWithers 25
Did she know that you were unboxing your Switch?
PuppiesKisses 19
God forbid you be a good husband before unboxing an expensive game consel that is almost exactly the same as the previous generation.
BurnInDemonFire 39
And yet there are innocent Gamestop shoppers who have had theirs damaged by rogue staples. I hope you get a paper cut on both hands and have nothing to eat but salt & vinegar crisps for the next month.
Hangryko 32
Stop downvoting everyone, you failure of a husband, man, and human being.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
As we gamers say - QQ moar. Seriously, how pathetically petty. Plus, your work ethic sucks if you stayed home from work for a game console. Your wife had a crappy day and you didn't even go to work. I hope she doesn't have to become the primary breadwinner in the house if you lose your job due to being glued to the screen.