Today, I was giving my boyfriend oral sex when he pulled away without warning. As I looked up at him to see what was wrong, he screamed "JUSTICE RAINS FROM ABOVE!" and shot his load in my eyes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and he ejaculated without warning, shooting straight up my nostril. I accidentally snorted it, started choking, and then coughed it up in my mouth. FML
Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted a blowjob, shortly after we've started dating. He said to be careful because he blows a massive load. Thinking he's full of crap, I rolled my eyes and got to work. Had him going and then a massive load shot down my throat and a bunch of fire hoses sprayed out my nose. It burned so bad. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, which I don't normally do because I have a fear of getting hit in the eye. Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bit the wrong spot and had lemon juice shoot right into my eye. FML
Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
Today, I was taking a shower with my boyfriend. While we were washing our hair, he got soap in his eyes and mouth. I was facing him, and since his eyes were closed he didn't realize how close I was. When he spat the soap out, it went straight into my eyes. Neither of us could see. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when I lifted myself up a little bit. What I was not prepared for was my boyfriend leaning down to kiss my neck. We collided heads, hard. FML
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Top comments
LyricaSilvan 30
Not gonna lie; I'd be pissed if that happened to me, but the way you put it makes it sound so funny.
friedpwnadge 25
Guess you didn't see it cumming until it was too late.
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Comments (78)
kev1316 20
The dragon becums me
jmc23 10
This is the greatest thing I've ever read!
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Wow, that is disgusting. I would be beyond pissed. I hope you chewed him out, and I'd deny him sex, oral or otherwise, for a while. That's just rude and disrespectful.
Vaggabondidealis 0
That kids is why they say justice is blind
uchihastephy88 25
I'm sorry, but disputed the originality of the situation, that is so disrespectful.
Lannie5015 4
I would slowly murder him....... not cool. I would be pissed off
Jay18 22
next time he's giving you oral sex push his head up and scream, THE SHOWER HEAD IS BROKEN, then you nut
CGPainting 0
So your boyfriend is awesome?
hammerhead2015 13
Literally made my day ??
rad2007 8
That was the best thing I've read in a while ???☔️