Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML
Today, was the first time giving head to my boyfriend. He couldn't finish, so I tried a handjob. In the end he kind of pushed my hand away so he could finish himself off. FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
Today, I was on a movie date with my boyfriend, when he asked for a handjob. I thought I was doing well until he sighed, took my hand off, and said he could finish on his own. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be honest, this is TERRIBLE." FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML
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Top comments
alex1432 9
Well try using more than just your hands??
lilbeast0327 3
wow u must really suck
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Comments (343)
MaryPoppins88 14
yikes lol sorry you suck
meintx 9
OP your bf's an asshole. He expected that letting you jack him would lead to at least a bj. Obviously that wasn't your plan. Everyone starts out differently. First times can be weird and not knowing what you really want to do. I had kinda the same experience my first time. He did come but told me after that he coulda done that himself and that he figured I would have sucked it too. Lol, he never did get a bj cause I figured out he was a total jerk. I found a better bf, a much better bf.
meintx 9
Sometimes guys are just total dicks! Lol
idrum3990 5
maybe you can just come hang out with me ;)
38alyssa25 0
wow... my first time he was excited to know i would even "hang out" *wink wink* with him...
Anonymouser81 0
handies are a waste of time. no man really wants one.
cgfluid 0
Sounds like your boyfriend might be gay.
xoxobarbiexoxo 0
what an asshole..
munny_fml 7
hahahaha wow you better make sure your oral skills are second to none!
chrgr69_rt 0
nothing wrong with a hand job...
cobraohm 0
seriously.... unless your into abuse just leave... trust there are plenty of guys out there who would treat you better than that.