Today, I was getting into the mood with my boyfriend. Ten minutes into it, I told him to "teach me a lesson." His response: "I ain't no teacher." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic night. As we were having sex, he decided to say, "Look mom, no hands!" and it totally ruined the mood. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's apartment. He started coming on to me so I pushed him away and said, "No chance." He said "Well, I'm horny, so I'm gonna take care of it myself. Can you go home now?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied by telling me to fuck off. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting pretty hot and heavy, then he said, "Let's pretend you're someone else." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
noelasis94 18
that's because he's a substitute teacher, and we all know they never know the lesson.
lhazz11 23
Maybe you should give him grammar lessons instead of sex sessions
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (91)
hama806 19
Some teach, others do.
Zazoo1995 23
I really don't see why this is an FML that deserves a lot of 'FYL', it's not anything close to any of the other embarrassing/FYL-worthy sex FMLs I've read. Cry us a river, build a bridge and get over it, OP. This isn't that bad.
soccerstar1996 18
Sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and whips excite her
TourettesGuyFTW 26
I'm a teacher...I could have a go?
Hazelino 25
But he should
IAmJad 18
Yes he is. "Ain't no" is a double negative!
apache316 6
"Ain't nobody got time for dat!"
noelasis94 18
that's because he's a substitute teacher, and we all know they never know the lesson.
ScenicSubterfuge 39
That is so true!!!!
ThePsyche 9
37- *Face palm*
Neyuu 18
58- *face palm*
j_cat187 20
71- *face palm*
lhazz11 23
Maybe you should give him grammar lessons instead of sex sessions
plopyer10 8
How the hell is this an FML?
lilhellian 27
Because aliens kidnapped her and left her stranded in space!
my_name_is_earl 9
Never go with the original phrases of dirty talk, try something new OP and good luck next time :-)
citygirl28 11
"teach me a lesson" - that's pretty dull sex talk unless you've put a schoolgirl outfit on and a cane in his hand. Come on, try something out and see, show some imagination, there's always google! On the other hand if you had the outfit lined up - well kudos, find another partner to be kinky with...
EVnIAS 13
not all girls like to talk dirty some hearing that would be more than they hoped for and ever got before. You should be happy to hear any dirty talk that means they are trying for you don't have to be so picky about it.
Pussycat86 18
I agree 47, it took my sometime to understand what op meant with teach me a lesson! Unless there was an outfit then probably that sentence would be out of contest!
MGITSWFTC 17
Here's a lesson: not everybody want to do some cliché'd role-playing
Fluffydemise 18
Your response "you ain't no lover either"
karlcolt45 19
those who can do, those who can't teach ;D
perdix 31
#10 and those who can't teach become guidance counselors!
maosquare 18
That statement is such a big insult to teachers.
perdix 31
#54, I agree. There are a lot of people who can "do" who absolutely suck at teaching others how to "do." Teaching is a unique skill that those who can "do" but can't teach would like to deny.
karlcolt45 19
but then Socrates said that failure of the student to learn is failure of the teacher to teach so...who knows