Today, I was getting into the mood with my boyfriend. Ten minutes into it, I told him to "teach me a lesson." His response: "I ain't no teacher." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic night. As we were having sex, he decided to say, "Look mom, no hands!" and it totally ruined the mood. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's apartment. He started coming on to me so I pushed him away and said, "No chance." He said "Well, I'm horny, so I'm gonna take care of it myself. Can you go home now?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied by telling me to fuck off. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting pretty hot and heavy, then he said, "Let's pretend you're someone else." FML
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Top comments
noelasis94 18
that's because he's a substitute teacher, and we all know they never know the lesson.
lhazz11 23
Maybe you should give him grammar lessons instead of sex sessions
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Comments (91)
gracehi 33
But unfortunately, he couldn't find any accredited schools with degrees available in the applied principles of sex. At best, only courses in biological theory were available. Guess OP and her boyfriend will just have to go back to that "boss and his secretary" game"... Just as soon as he gets approved for that business loan.
Sandsh8rk 36
Time to go back to the good ol' days and get the cane.
Enslaved 38
"Teach me how to Dougie." I ain't no dance instructor!
bReLiNg 18
It only works while you got the school girl outfit on.
rhysfucker 24
Tell me more...
BrotherTheo 31
Ladies and Gentlemen, We have a Winner!
RedPillSucks 33
It has to be a Catholic school girl uniform. You know, the one with the single pin stopping the skirt from fully opening. None of this prep school girl uniform nonsense.
Kyle_Kawi27 7
I think most men would enjoy school and college much more if this were the case.
EVnIAS 13
It doesn't always work actually. just cause you have a school girl outfit on wont make the sex better. I put it on and even though me and my girl had great sex she said she would prefer if I never put it on again. I am never allow near her clothes again...
rhysfucker 24
Poor grammar and uninteresting sex. Winner!
Zebediabolical 45
That's some pretty bad dirty talk. Be more specific in the future, or you'll never get what you crave.
Alhamdulilah 15
How about "Lets have sex!" Instead of attempting to sound sexy??
Born2die 11
It just doesn't add up
RedPillSucks 33
He aint no math teacher, especially.
Alhamdulilah 15
But still, grow a mustache, mustache makes people sound dirty. :3
bieberfuldubstep 4
I'd like for Bieber to teach me a lesson;)
da_directioner39 17
Well, unlike most people here, I will congratulate you for coming out of the closet.
gracehi 33
Teach you a lesson... In singing? Well, he does have an impressive falsetto, although I doubt he'd consider becoming a vocal teacher at this point in his career.
skyturtle 9
That's ok, I don't have anything against lesbians.
da_directioner39 17
Wait, which misleading-user-icon-lady? And I just read 28's profile. She loves girls. That explains her liking of Bieber.