Today, I was getting into the mood with my boyfriend. Ten minutes into it, I told him to "teach me a lesson." His response: "I ain't no teacher." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic night. As we were having sex, he decided to say, "Look mom, no hands!" and it totally ruined the mood. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's apartment. He started coming on to me so I pushed him away and said, "No chance." He said "Well, I'm horny, so I'm gonna take care of it myself. Can you go home now?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied by telling me to fuck off. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting pretty hot and heavy, then he said, "Let's pretend you're someone else." FML
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Top comments
noelasis94 18
that's because he's a substitute teacher, and we all know they never know the lesson.
lhazz11 23
Maybe you should give him grammar lessons instead of sex sessions
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Comments (91)
loserman67 36
He obviously ain't no grammar major either...
auroravi 6
Easy. You should teach HIM a lesson:) Too bad that your bf is a bit slow though.. hehe
TheWorldGreatest 8
Sometimes you have to explain what you want more clearly!
RedPillSucks 33
OP: I want you to slowly unbutton my blouse and unhook my bra strap, revealing my perky 33D. Then you will cradle each breast, slowly sucking on them. Make sure not to use too much teeth or suction as that is very uncomfortable. Next, you will slide your hands down my thighs, slowly inserting your fingers under my hello kitty panties. I will moan expectantly, while you rub the tip of my ********. You will then undo the safety pin holding my skirt together, let it drop to the floor and ..... BF: What? TL; DL
lambda_fml 40
#60 You should be writing sex stories. Now this is talent!
Archay 13
51 shades of grey by: RedPillSucks
AjsMommy7204 6
Hey Op.. Maybe You Should Teach Him A Lesson Or Two !!! Maybe Then He'll Lighten Up And Be Up For More Adventures !! Good Luck !!
Schiffy 18
Why Do People Feel The Need To Type Their Sentences By Capitalizing Every Word? Do You Write Official Papers Like This?
perdix 31
Next time you start getting frisky, ask him if he wants to "sit on the couch" with his "hands down his pants" while "swilling beer and blankly watching TV." That ought to drive him mild.
whY402Jay 12
Buzz kill.
superminty 18
'Ain't no' is perfectly acceptable in some American dialects. There are double negatives in plenty of languages - Russian, French and Old English. Dialect is no indicator of intelligence.
xStaciexLynnx 15
Ah yes, perfectly acceptable in the well known 'Facebook dialect'. To use it in a sentence would be 'Ain't nobody got time for that.'
RedPillSucks 33
Meh... English is a bastardization of French and German that has cobbled together aspects of different languages over the centuries. The language is always changing. There's no such thing as standard english, and "proper english" changes every 40 years or so...
martinfml 8
At least he made you snicker!
RedPillSucks 33
She aint no candy bar!
nanxi 30
Ooh, so he's roleplaying as the janitor instead. Kinky ;)
tvsrockson 6
Guess he doesn't feel like teaching you