Today, I was getting into the mood with my boyfriend. Ten minutes into it, I told him to "teach me a lesson." His response: "I ain't no teacher." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic night. As we were having sex, he decided to say, "Look mom, no hands!" and it totally ruined the mood. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's apartment. He started coming on to me so I pushed him away and said, "No chance." He said "Well, I'm horny, so I'm gonna take care of it myself. Can you go home now?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied by telling me to fuck off. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting pretty hot and heavy, then he said, "Let's pretend you're someone else." FML
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Top comments
noelasis94 18
that's because he's a substitute teacher, and we all know they never know the lesson.
lhazz11 23
Maybe you should give him grammar lessons instead of sex sessions
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Comments (91)
Kaylan_Paige 6
So we can assume sexy nun is out too?
jdime209 2
OP should have at least said, "beat me up"! Lol
AlexiAwesome 10
Aaaaaaaand we're done
Xyph8 1
he doesnt sound like he deserves you OP
CloudFox 6
Do guys think that's weird? That's totally something I would say but I don't wanna creep the guy out :/
nunnsii92 9
Maybe you should've told him about the naughty schoolgirl/teacher fantasy first?
dancinwookie 21
She could always deny his loan application. Now, that's some kinky stuff right there.
chuckcloninger 12
I think FluffyDemise had the best comeback. Either he is bored with your sex life and has no ideas (or desire) to improve it or he's dumb as a post. My God, a woman begging to be taught something new and different!
netdemon 11
Should have brought a paddle to bed to make it a little more obvious
BananerzFresh 12
Someone's not very kinky.