Today, I was getting into the mood with my boyfriend. Ten minutes into it, I told him to "teach me a lesson." His response: "I ain't no teacher." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic night. As we were having sex, he decided to say, "Look mom, no hands!" and it totally ruined the mood. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's apartment. He started coming on to me so I pushed him away and said, "No chance." He said "Well, I'm horny, so I'm gonna take care of it myself. Can you go home now?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied by telling me to fuck off. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting pretty hot and heavy, then he said, "Let's pretend you're someone else." FML
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Top comments
noelasis94 18
that's because he's a substitute teacher, and we all know they never know the lesson.
lhazz11 23
Maybe you should give him grammar lessons instead of sex sessions
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Comments (91)
AnimeBitch 14
He ain't.
youknowimright 5
He aint never been no student either
laden_swallow09 35
Obviously.
SweetasCandy0609 28
men so clueless sometimes, hasn't he ever heard of role playing what a mood killer.
ViviMage 40
I are not no teacher. Someone should teach him that double negatives are frowned upon in English, but ok in Spanish!
Evgeny2222 11
Isn't "ain't no" some sort of slang?
unixdude 9
Am I the only one to realize "teach me a lesson" means "beat the shit out if me"? Your BF did you a favor, sweetheart.
tj4234 36
no, everyone realised it. Just no one else felt the need to comment the obvious. Now go back and sit in the cupboard.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
It also doesn't always mean "beat the shit out of me". In many **** videos it just means "Screw me really hard and maybe pull my hair a bit" Usually while the man mumbles phrases like "yeah take it, this will teach you to flirt with Ted".
tj4234 36
sorry chibichibi, I thought unixdude meant what you said. Joys of being dyslexic.
ShakeDisPlace 10
A few oral lessons should help ;)
MDTeddy 13
She said something smexi. Anyway, why can't people just have sex? Talking seems to ruin sex. Well, not really, but only the stupid people like that guy.
Tim2415 16
"I AIN'T NO teacher" well that just explains it all...