Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Let's get it on
Today, I told my husband I was horny and wanted to get it on. He agreed but first he had to finish the chapter he was reading, watch his show on Netflix, argue with strangers on Facebook, then do his workout. He had the nerve to cop an attitude when I was no longer in the mood. FML
Revealing
Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML
Today, when I had a go at my husband for spending way too much time in front of the TV, he pointed the remote control at me while miming turning down the volume in order to make me shut up. FML
Big kid
Today, I told my husband that I'm tired of feeling like his "blow-up doll". His response was to honk my boob and make squeaking noises. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were watching TV, I asked him if he loved me. He turned up the volume. FML
Today, my husband woke up in the middle of the night feeling frisky. He woke me up, got me all hot and ready to go, then before I could get into position he fell back to sleep, leaving me to fend for myself. FML
Today, I started to get horny while watching TV with my husband. I tried turning him on by telling him I wanted his cock. He cheerfully replied without looking away from the TV, "If only I gave a fuck, babe, if only I gave a fuck!" FML
Today, as I was about to have sex with my husband, I said I wanted to "spice things up." Apparently, our ideas weren't the same. He yanked my nipples as hard as he could and said, "Yeah, you like that?" FML
The "He's probably thinking of other girls" meme *gone wrong*
Today, my insomnia got so bad that I became convinced my husband was having an affair in our bed right next to me. I punched him so hard in the shoulder that he awoke from a sound sleep, farted, and then shook it off and went back to sleep unfazed. I'm so jealous. FML
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OGReaper 2
Thats what you get.
kickuwithmyfist 1
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Comments (136)
snafu63 0
In your face! Guess you shouldn't turn it down so often.
perdix 31
YDI for rejecting your husband for months. Sometimes you just need to bend over and take one for the team.
MissHayleyJames 7
I'm really hoping this is just the normal Perdix sarcasm.
silentbutfunny 0
Sometimes, you never know.
Clamcreepy 7
"take one for the team" that's classic. That really had me laughing out loud
luccmon 6
If perdix is being sarcastic here, I may reconsider laughing as often as I do to their usually hilarious comments.
QQMorePlox 18
Get tolled bitch
MrsUresti 8
Months???? :O How do you survive!?! ;)
Tyvex 2
She could've asked him any time, he only turned it down once and she had turned it down loads. Anyway she said she hadn't needed it for months its not her that would find it hard it's her husband.
MrsUresti 8
I know poor husband but her how can she not need sex!!!! She's crazy lol
heyred 11
Months? Get to a PCP or therapist - something is wrong. That's not normal. Your poor husband.
daltonromanowski 11
Ever heard of asexuality, asshole?
CRC_101 31
108 - I'm looking into being a biology major actually, also. It is frustrating to see the biological term "asexuality" gain other meanings, but the meaning of "lacking interest in or desire for sex" has also made it in to the best dictionaries. We'll probably have to accept that at some point or another. 106 - How in the world does heyred's comment make her an asshole? She's suggesting help for OP and her husband. Asexuality isn't *necessarily* a good thing. Considering OP was feeling frisky and apparently wanted to act on her sexual desires despite her partner's resistance, it very much sounds like she would prefer not to have a lifestyle of asexuality. Therefore, if she is experiencing some sort of asexuality, shouldn't OP seek help all the more? Your own comment supports heyred's comment. Why are you calling her names?
DocBastard 40
Because people in general are idiots, and they take any opportunity to call others names like "asshole" and "idiot". Hey, wait a second...
daltonromanowski 11
Holy shit, you cannot get any more ignorant. Asexuality has two meanings. You've expressed knowledge in the first but total erasure in the second. People who are asexual don't face sexual attraction to any gender, and I can assure you these people actually exist. Please do your research before you continue to spread such animosity around, it's really gross. (FTR, I'm not saying the FML poster is asexual - she's clearly not - but saying something is "wrong" with people who don't face sexual attraction is beyond ignorant.)
daltonromanowski 11
Further - asexuality is never not a good thing, unless there is a medical ailment behind it (which usually causes low libido, not an entire sexual orientation). You biology majors can be so ridiculous and pompous about your terminology, I swear. Listen - asexuality now has two meanings, whether you like it or not. Get the hell over it already. The original commenter is an asshole for suggesting something is wrong with her for not desiring sex for a long period of time, thereby ignoring asexuality and people who simply have a low natural libido. Granted, there COULD be a medical reason behind it, but saying that not wanting sex in itself isn't normal is bullshit.
xStaciexLynnx 15
Forget the definition of asexual. Clearly they had been having sex before or this wouldn't be a problem so neither of them are asexual in any definition of the term... The only thing I got out of this thread is that daltonromanowski is probably someone who classifies themself as an asexual person and thought this would be a great moment to be all self righteous and defensive. But maybe that's just me.
daltonromanowski 11
To put it frankly, I'm a huge ****. I don't get why you seem to think ONLY asexual people can be offended by their erasure in society.
htownpostman 16
We all aren't in the mood all the time but once in a while it's nice to give in because you love him.. Based on his comment, sounds like you really hurt his feelings and made him feel unwanted
marisadc79 0
How exactly do you feel up a guy? Just saying lol.
Raesin 21
You'll find out when you're older.
xStaciexLynnx 15
Lol. Her profile says she's 32. Forever alone?
RhymeTyme 3
That silent bunny Only 18 naive kid Don't hand out advice
RhymeTyme 3
Meant to reply to 1st comment my bad
kei1108 13
He may be acting very rude, but maybe YDI for not considering how he felt every time you reject him. Even if you aren't in the mood at first, once you get into it, it may be hard to stop. Same with every activity!
daltonromanowski 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Some of these comments are gross. Nobody is obligated to have sex with ANYBODY, married or not. If she wasn't feeling it, she wasn't feeling it - it's that simple. Her husband is being really childish (unless he sincerely didn't want to, but it sounds like he was playing mind games and trying to guilt trip her). I get that there's a serious problem in the relationship based on the differences in libido here but come on. This isn't Ancient Rome. People have bodily autonomy.
daltonromanowski 11
You're not reading the FML properly. The lady clearly stated it was the first time she's felt frisky in months, meaning her excuses weren't mind games - she legitimately did not want to have sex. What's wrong with not feeling it? Nobody should be forced to put out because their partner is horny, so I don't blame the husband here for that. I'm just saying, he's treating her to the cold shoulder because she has a low libido, and that's immature. What are you expecting her to do, spread her legs and deal with it? It's her body. She's not an object. She's a person who should have full control over whether or not there's a goddamned dick inside of her. So yeah, there's a difference between what the husband is doing and what she is doing. She's telling him she doesn't want to have sex when she doesn't want to have sex. Her husband is saying he doesn't want to have sex because he's butthurt over her having control over her own body, basically. Had the secret read that he simply wasn't in the mood then yeah, big deal. But he's specifically trying to get back at her for this, which is why I think he's being childish.
luccmon 6
Whether it was low libido or just being a bitch cuz he doesn't pick up his laundry. If you turn down your spouse for months at a time, you're lucky that a smartass cold shoulder is all you get. She's lucky he isn't having an affair (which he probably is since he can manage to turn her down in this way) he's either getting some on the side or he is in fact a total boss.
irockfendergirl 0
116- I see where you are coming from. On the other hand, he is most likely feeling rejected due to his wife not wanting anything to do with him sexually, for months. I know if I were the husband, I'd feel terrible about myself. Feeling rejected is so hurtful, even though that probably wasn't the wife's intentions. I agree that he's acting childish, but maybe he's sincerely hurt, and wants to give her a taste of her own medicine. It doesn't make it right, but it's a possibility of why he's acting this way.
downtime 13
You fail miserably at common sense. Yes people have a right to do what they want with their body, but then so does the other person in the relationship. And if they don't want to have sex because they want to spite the other person then they have every ******* right to do so. You can't seriously come on here expecting anyone to support such a ridiculous argument do you? She has the right to do as she pleases, but suddenly because she wants it he has to drop everything and just saddle up? Wow...
RhymeTyme 3
HAH!!
divinitos 1
you're silly :p
daltonromanowski 11
155 - no shit, dumbass. I'm not calling the husband out for not wanting sex, I'm calling him out for being a petty manchild. ONCE AGAIN, since you clearly lack reading comprehension - had he just said he wasn't in the mood, fine, great. Sucks for OP, kind of funny actually. Totally karma. But the second he made it about "payback," he turned it into a childish game that's about internally feeling his wife should put out whenever he wants, and that's disgusting.
israelnotjacob 20
The wife was being far worse than the husband. Yes deliberately saying how does it feel and whatnot is a bit childish, but he does have the right to stand up for himself and decide that if she refuses to satisfy him other than the extremely rare cases where it's her idea. If she had been saying no for months and then one rare time wanted to herself and he just jumped on the chance, then he would be a pushover. He was standing up for himself. Yeah he could have just flat out said that he's not going to just jump on the chance when she never says yes to him, but beyond a slight pettiness he was in the right. And actually yes a married person is obligated to have sex. Not in the sense that they're supposed to jump on their spouse like a sex slave every moment he or she is in the mood, but if a married person isn't willing to satisfy their partner fairly frequently then there is a problem. Marriage is about making each other happy. You both have to make sacrifices, but the husband shouldn't be expected to just ignore his needs for months straight just because his wife doesn't feel like it and then jump on her without question as soon as she is.
downtime 13
I'm sorry but your logic is nonsensical. Everyone can see it, except you.
daltonromanowski 11
Excuse me? Forcing an obligation of sex on someone is rape. Check your shit at the door.
Squashamis 1
You're a moron: He didn't FORCE anything. All relationships are about both members. You can't just never have sex with you're spouse because then you are only in it for yourself rather than giving a compromise. It would be unfair to expect her to give him sex every damn time but if she wants to be a twat and withhold from him for months then she's selfish. Then you turn around and criticize the husband because he withholds sex for once to prove a point.