Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, I told my husband I was horny and wanted to get it on. He agreed but first he had to finish the chapter he was reading, watch his show on Netflix, argue with strangers on Facebook, then do his workout. He had the nerve to cop an attitude when I was no longer in the mood. FML
Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML
Today, when I had a go at my husband for spending way too much time in front of the TV, he pointed the remote control at me while miming turning down the volume in order to make me shut up. FML
Today, I told my husband that I'm tired of feeling like his "blow-up doll". His response was to honk my boob and make squeaking noises. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were watching TV, I asked him if he loved me. He turned up the volume. FML
Today, my husband woke up in the middle of the night feeling frisky. He woke me up, got me all hot and ready to go, then before I could get into position he fell back to sleep, leaving me to fend for myself. FML
Today, I started to get horny while watching TV with my husband. I tried turning him on by telling him I wanted his cock. He cheerfully replied without looking away from the TV, "If only I gave a fuck, babe, if only I gave a fuck!" FML
Today, as I was about to have sex with my husband, I said I wanted to "spice things up." Apparently, our ideas weren't the same. He yanked my nipples as hard as he could and said, "Yeah, you like that?" FML
Today, my insomnia got so bad that I became convinced my husband was having an affair in our bed right next to me. I punched him so hard in the shoulder that he awoke from a sound sleep, farted, and then shook it off and went back to sleep unfazed. I'm so jealous. FML
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Top comments
OGReaper 2
Thats what you get.
kickuwithmyfist 1
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Comments (136)
CRC_101 31
If he dealt with it for months, I'm sure you can deal with it a bit too.
Grand_Cookie 21
I would like to shake his hand. I wonder how fast he thought of that.
luccmon 6
Right after the second time she used the headache excuse...
luccmon 6
Haha. Paybacks a bitch! Just like your husbands wife! (oh no he dinnint) did you say feeling frisky for the first time in MONTHS?!? WTF?!? I'd be a prick about your lazy and way past due attempt at "feeling me up" too.
electrorange 13
Here's a case of 'No Tit for Tat'
alfred07 18
Fyl for having a husband who does stupid stuff like that rather than talk to you about what is bothering him.
israelnotjacob 20
No he's the one who's life sucks. If she literally hasn't even felt like having sex in months there's a serious problem and I'm willing to bet he's tried to talk to her but she just kept making the same excuses. He was right to give her a taste of her own medicine rather than just giving in the one rare time she was actually in the mood when she has probably been rejecting him countless times. Either she's not happy in the relationship or there is an actual medical issue here. Either way if she didn't try to figure out what's wrong after that long she's the problem. I highly doubt if he did something like this to show her how it feels that she's been telling him lately that she wants to satisfy him but for some reason she just hardly ever has the desire. Odds are they'd both be trying to figure out the problem by now if so.
downtime 13
126 FYL for assuming he didn't and judging him based on information you just pulled out your ass.
mrsmillsy 10
Yea, if you don't feel like having sex for months you should talk to a doctor. It's really not fair on the husband. Also if you're just making up excuses for that long, there's clearly something wrong in your relationship. Maybe you're not attracted to him anymore, arguing all the time, lack of communication, too busy - whatever. In my marriage we put each other first - not work or our own stubbornness.
thamack408 11
this man is my hero :3
grands138 4
You're not giving your husband or yourself the chance. My guess is that your libido is low because the sex isn't all that great. Mw wife and I are going on six years of marriage now. The first year or so sounded a lot like your FML, but substitute weeks with months. The more we honest and open we were with each other, the more our confidence grew, and the better the sex got. Now, we can't keep our hands off each other and are having sex multiple times a week. I don't blame your husband for doing what he did because I did the same exact thing. My wife wasn't communicating with me, and my guess is that you're not being open with your husband.
Tyvex 2
I'm so happy that this stuff happens and I applaud this guy because, as a friendzoned guy, I hear women conspiring about turning down sex, with some lame excuse like a headache, in order to gain a power hold over their husbands/boyfriends, all the time
edjeff 2
I applaud her husband for his response. Sex especially in a marriage is important. Lack of sex can lead to other problems.
Ins0mau 20
Yeah, sex is important. But he could have talked and suggested therapy or something rather than be an arsehole about it.
Squashamis 1
Oh he's an asshole because he turned her down? lol