Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, I told my husband I was horny and wanted to get it on. He agreed but first he had to finish the chapter he was reading, watch his show on Netflix, argue with strangers on Facebook, then do his workout. He had the nerve to cop an attitude when I was no longer in the mood. FML
Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML
Today, when I had a go at my husband for spending way too much time in front of the TV, he pointed the remote control at me while miming turning down the volume in order to make me shut up. FML
Today, I told my husband that I'm tired of feeling like his "blow-up doll". His response was to honk my boob and make squeaking noises. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were watching TV, I asked him if he loved me. He turned up the volume. FML
Today, my husband woke up in the middle of the night feeling frisky. He woke me up, got me all hot and ready to go, then before I could get into position he fell back to sleep, leaving me to fend for myself. FML
Today, I started to get horny while watching TV with my husband. I tried turning him on by telling him I wanted his cock. He cheerfully replied without looking away from the TV, "If only I gave a fuck, babe, if only I gave a fuck!" FML
Today, as I was about to have sex with my husband, I said I wanted to "spice things up." Apparently, our ideas weren't the same. He yanked my nipples as hard as he could and said, "Yeah, you like that?" FML
Today, my insomnia got so bad that I became convinced my husband was having an affair in our bed right next to me. I punched him so hard in the shoulder that he awoke from a sound sleep, farted, and then shook it off and went back to sleep unfazed. I'm so jealous. FML
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Top comments
OGReaper 2
Thats what you get.
kickuwithmyfist 1
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Comments (136)
urkiddingright 3
I think you need to see a specialist in women's health, and both of you need to see a marriage counselor. Your husband sounds really angry, and this kind of thing just doesn't resolve on its own.
thedavidharrison 0
Well hey, now you know to not do the same thing to him when he wants some(;
yourmofo 6
Bitches and hoes...... Sadly not boats and hoes.
poonchubby 0
I signed up just to say you deserve that!
whynotbliss 18
You deserved it I'm betting!!! Think again about how YOU can improve your sex life... He's been in jerking it mode for a while and clearly doesn't feel he needs you right now. Might want to fix your sex life before he cheats, or cheats again...
Michaelsgirl04 9
But it was her HUSBAND. I dont care if she rejected him, he should've told her it hurt his feelings instead of letting it fester and then acting like a three year old about it
buddyguyfriend 1
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Ha
juaqin 2
lol i literally signed up JUST so i could comment on this post. OP you deserved it, not gonna lie. while there may be some circumstances i'm unaware of, i still feel that unless there truly are some excruciating circumstances you should put in at least a LITTLE effort. P.S. your husbands my hero
tinkdatank 15
I gotta say, that was truly epic.
Colonel_Lexi 18
You deserve it for being selfish when HE wanted to have sex.