Today, I was eating pizza with my boyfriend and my friends. I was laughing and talking and went for another piece when my boyfriend grabbed my wrist and said that I had had enough. My friends all backed him up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend wouldn’t stop smacking and slurping his food. I told him to at least chew with his mouth closed. He looked me dead in the eye, with a mouth full of chewed up pizza, and said, “No.” FML
Today, I was eating lunch with my boyfriend when I started choking. My boyfriend took it as an opportunity to sneak food off my plate. FML
Today, I leaned in to kiss my boyfriend goodnight at the door. He smiled sweetly, cupped my cheek… and then used his other hand to pull the last slice of pizza out of my hand and slam the door shut. FML
Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend was kidding when he said he'd dump me if I actually ate pineapple on pizza. I ordered it. I ate it. I'm now single. FML
Today, we were having a family dinner with my boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen, when we were getting the food ready, he proposed. I screamed. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tased him in the leg. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML
Today, I accidentally said "Yes Daddy” to my boyfriend while at dinner with his parents. They threw me out. My boyfriend did nothing to defend me. FML
Today, during lunch, I choked on my food and possibly came close to death when my boyfriend's best friend performed the Heimlich Maneuver on me, potentially saving my life. My boyfriend then started arguing with me over letting his best friend touch my stomach. FML
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Top comments
chasin_butterfli 0
And you didn't break his hand? If my BF ever pulled some shit like that, he'd be sporting a cast. Not cool, especially in front of friends.
SweetestSin 4
Well how many slices did you freakin eat prior to that?
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Comments (88)
beyoh 0
I would have eaten the pizza anyway! But we don't know the full story - maybe she had eaten her share already and was beginning to eat other people's? Like if they had paid for half a pizza each or something.
ColdGold 6
Let someone else have some too. Don't eat all of it! Do you eat like it's slop?
wuddup24 0
uhmm if i were u i wouldev just took tw slice and say yeah i think i noe how to count ! but atleast u tried :)haha wrks like a charm riii ????
Lolzords 11
What?
caitlinh12345 0
thats bloody terrible, dump him!!
BobbleHead54 0
srry but u need tah leave him and them. btw theyre soo not your friends
llllJakubllll 0
Stop eating so much you fat ****.
AtomicBryce 0
wut assholes
jjluv456 11
What the **** is his problem
kbg8409 0
and it's funny that people say like "if you're not fat then it's okay". and who cares if she was?? that's her own prerogative. the bf shouldn't be such an asshole and be so shallow. it doesn't matter if she had 2 pieces or 100 pieces, they were having a good time and he totally ruined it and embarrassed her. FYL
RAUN 8
When friends share any consumable, it is polite to take equal portions, be it cake, cookies, pizza, potato chips, or cigars. He may not have handled it well but he may not have been implying that you are fat.