Today, during lunch, I choked on my food and possibly came close to death when my boyfriend's best friend performed the Heimlich Maneuver on me, potentially saving my life. My boyfriend then started arguing with me over letting his best friend touch my stomach. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was eating lunch with my boyfriend when I started choking. My boyfriend took it as an opportunity to sneak food off my plate. FML
Today, I went out to eat with friends. My crush was also at the restaurant with his friends. He smiled at me as I took a mouthful of food, and I choked. The waitress had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on me, while he and his friends fell off their chairs laughing. FML
Today, I was sitting in the break room at work eating lunch when I started to choke. My face turned red and tears began welling up in my eyes. Two of my coworkers were there. They began to argue over who would have to give me the Heimlich maneuver rather than helping. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend out to dinner to an expensive restaurant. He overate, and now I have to nurse him through food poisoning. FML
Today, while dining at a restaurant I heard a women choking. I immediately ran to her, wrapped my arms around her and started giving her abdominal thrusts. She freed herself and slapped me. Turns out she wasn't choking, she was just laughing. FML
Today, I was at a friend's house teasing her with a pickle. She hates them so I thought it would be funny to pretend to deep throat it. Her dad came in and startled me so bad, I inhaled it. She had to call 911 while he performed the Heimlich maneuver. I’m no longer welcome back. FML
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Top comments
pjsr 33
He'd rather the funeral director touch your body?!
marsmonkey 9
I'm so sorry, OP- that's really awful! Perhaps this is a sign that this boyfriend might not deserve you. If your body means more to him as his territory, if might be time to end it.
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Comments (37)
marsmonkey 9
I'm so sorry, OP- that's really awful! Perhaps this is a sign that this boyfriend might not deserve you. If your body means more to him as his territory, if might be time to end it.
pjsr 33
He'd rather the funeral director touch your body?!
Allie614032 34
Your boyfriend is definitely too possessive. Let him know that it's your body, not his, and that you may have died if not for his friend touching you. Maybe ask why your boyfriend himself didn't help you when you were choking.
RosesMama 2
Op this level of controlling behaviour is scary and not normal or acceptable. Maybe today is the day 2 things happened that save your life. The Heimlich manoeuvre, and discovering what this guy is really like before he starts on the classic next stages for this kind of boyfriend - controlling who you are and what you do, then who you see, and then beginning the abusive behaviour. I would get the hell away from this guy if I were you.
Gaimeboy 7
I can definitely second this suggestion. Another idea in the meantime is never to let him have one up on your, like favors or such. People like that tend to use it to guilt trip, because nowadays, people can't just do things for anyone 'without' expecting something in return.
RichardPencil 32
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
He probably got in a few boob squeezes to calibrate his location which is somewhat lower slightly lower. It's kinda greedy to triangulate, if you know what I mean.
Isa_fml 20
Controlling douchebag. Ditch him.
jennisyn 11
dump his dumbass
Exaspera 55
Ditto to all of the above. I guess he'd rather see you dead than to be touched by someone else. Dump this immature jerk.
Talented73 54
At least someone stepped forward to save you. Too bad your bf is being such a dick about it. If the guy who saved you is cute, time to switch boyfriends!
rodfergie 18
I usually don't agree with dump him comments, because people usually don't understand the whole story. This time I'm a hundred percent on board, you need to get rid of him because this type of behavior only gets worse.