Today, I thought my boyfriend was kidding when he said he'd dump me if I actually ate pineapple on pizza. I ordered it. I ate it. I'm now single. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was eating pizza with my boyfriend and my friends. I was laughing and talking and went for another piece when my boyfriend grabbed my wrist and said that I had had enough. My friends all backed him up. FML
Today, I'm getting over a nasty breakup, and decided to treat myself and order a pizza online. After waiting 45 minutes, I checked the site. Turns out, I'd forgotten to change the address on the site. I sent my ex a free pizza. FML
Today, my boyfriend wouldn’t stop smacking and slurping his food. I told him to at least chew with his mouth closed. He looked me dead in the eye, with a mouth full of chewed up pizza, and said, “No.” FML
Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me by throwing my stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I tried explaining that I have no clue what he's talking about, he started exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants on fire!" FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I order meat well done. He's the third guy to do this. Just the thought of eating undercooked meat makes me gag. FML
Today, I discovered my boyfriend gets lunch every day at Burger King. I confronted him, and he broke up with me. Apparently, he only pretended to be vegan like me to get in my pants, and now the jig is up he dumped me so he can return to having meat at all three meals of the day. FML
Today, I leaned in to kiss my boyfriend goodnight at the door. He smiled sweetly, cupped my cheek… and then used his other hand to pull the last slice of pizza out of my hand and slam the door shut. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. Why? Because I became a vegetarian. Apparently, he doesn't believe in "not eating meat." FML
Today, I found out I was pregnant. I told my boyfriend, who held me and promised it'd be alright, and he'd never leave me. One sandwich later, he'd forgotten about the whole thing, and dumped me when I reminded him. FML
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Top comments
DetroitDov 35
Wouldn't want to date someone who would break up over something like that anyway.
Notamusedanymore 17
What a child.
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Comments (28)
ARISKomuniszt 24
But the question is... was it worth it?
OlRed 28
Hell yes, pineapple on the pizza is life! And she got rid of a douche bag.
VisioningGoblin 4
Personally I neither hate or like it
RinoaHeartilly 36
Probably. If he's that ridiculous over a pizza topping then she's probably lucky to be rid of him.
Notamusedanymore 17
What a child.
DetroitDov 35
Wouldn't want to date someone who would break up over something like that anyway.
Chazzster 32
OP, your boyfriend is an idiot. It’s got nothing to do with if pineapple on pizza is good or not. It’s about control. He was trying to control you over something really trivial. You are better off without the idiot.
Lillysar91 20
Is he for real? Apparently so...bloody childish. What you like to eat or put on your pizza is your own lookout and a matter of taste.
indienerdgirl 27
Such a man child. I hate sardines with a passion but hey I married my husband anyways despite he likes those nasty things lol. Anyways OP if that was the breaking point for him he's not worth it.
RichardPencil 32
Wow! He really dodged a bullet!
Glowworm56 27
Now that's just petty!
BurnInDemonFire 39
You should spite him by finding someone else who enjoys pineapple on their pizza, marry them, have a load of pineapple pizzas instead of a wedding cake, become rich, have an awesome family, and retire at 45, so you can sail around the world on a boat that looks like a slice of pineapple pizza. I think I may have overdone this fantasy. Oh well.
INDYSTRUCTABLE 43
you should leave pieces of pineapple in random places he visits frequently