Today, I applied for a job as a secretary. As I sat in the waiting room, the interviewer came out with his wife. She gave me a once-over, then said to her husband, "Hire this one. She's so ugly, you would never have an affair with her." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went in for an interview at my dream job. When I walked in, I got a dirty look from the front desk secretary. Turns out, the guy interviewing me was from a dating website I'm on. I'd rejected him and told him to get a life. FML
Today, while waiting for a job interview, a woman sat down next to me and asked if I was here for the job too. Thinking she was also an applicant, I tried to demoralise her, and said the job was going to be a complete joke. With that, she stood up and said, "Do you still want to go into my office?" She was the interviewer. FML
Today, my boss told me I got my new job because she rejected candidates that seemed "too confident" or "too pretty." FML
Today, I started my new job. Less than one hour into the day, my boss told me that the reason he hired me was that I was the least attractive of everyone he interviewed, so I'd be less likely to cause a distraction. FML
Today, I had an interview to be a waitress. Afterwards, I had food in the restaurant, which is where I overheard my interviewer tell the manager he wasn’t going to bother hiring “that girl I just interviewed” because "her face is nasty and she’ll put the customers off their food." FML
Today, I overheard my husband of 3 years talking to our boss, an attractive blonde. She was telling him that she couldn't believe he was with me. She thinks I'm fat and ugly and that he's hot. He said, "She's not that bad…" We work in the same store and she follows him around like a puppy. FML
Today, I tried hitting on the new receptionist at work. After a few flirtatious comments and subtly hinting that I thought she was bangable, she informed me that she's married to our boss. FML
Today, I went on a group job interview, where all the applicants seem to have the same qualifications. When the interviewer dismissed all of us but the prettiest girl, outraged, I told him he was a prejudiced pig, and should be ashamed of himself. Apparently she was the only one who had a car. FML
Today, I was fixing my makeup in the back room of the office when my boss walked in. He looked kind of annoyed so I jokingly said, "Don't you want your secretary to look good?" He said, "If I did, I wouldn't have hired you." FML
Today, I went to the bathroom after a terrible job interview. My interviewer walked in with another guy, talking about my interview, saying he was obviously going to hire the other guy because my odd-sounding name was too hard to pronounce, yet alone spell in multiple emails. FML
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Top comments
TwitchingNebula 17
That doesn't mean you can't prove her wrong
jessikamahone 6
Look on the bright side, you've got a job.
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Comments (78)
jessikamahone 6
Look on the bright side, you've got a job.
timjones 8
That went straight to the self esteem.
WritingWrongs 8
Oh yes, a, job is good. These days it can be so hard to find, one. You gotta take what you can get, even if the boss (or his wife) is an asshole
ohcheriecherie 20
Your comma use needs help, good sir.
WritingWrongs 8
Ah, yup it does; I don't know what I was thinking, I had just woken up when I wrote that.
Liamj774 36
But don't look on the bright side for too long or you'll go blind
vanillacocoa 6
That means you HAVE to sleep with him now
SkoomaKi 28
Get a nearby stapler and fire staples at her. It's only logical.
perdix 31
That Was Easy(TM), Mr. Spock.
TwitchingNebula 17
That doesn't mean you can't prove her wrong
fml121785 14
Challenge accepted!
Mister_Triangle 21
She's gotta do it out of spite now
onlychildFTW 34
Oh yeah. Just to get back at that mean woman. It's horrible to say that, especially to someone's face. Behind back isn't much better but at least OPs feelings would be spared.
Trym 7
Haha, doesn't sound like she trusts her husband!
TheMathMajor 26
Maybe he's had a secretary affair before.
walmartpaysme 15
Or maybe she was making a joke.
ohSNAPyall 27
That's a pretty cruel joke at the OP's expense and the husband's as well.
Krirn 21
That's just an assumption, if he bent you over the desk, it wouldn't matter.
SammyS2012 21
It's all about the mermaid effect
AFEmoWifey 0
Eye Broccoli?
AFEmoWifey 0
Obviously few people understand HIMYM references.
ifuckmonsters 5
I think there's some trust issues going on there.
herpderpherpderp 13
thankyou Captain Obvious!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Epic win: if we had a FMLer named Capt.Obvious and he said "You're welcome!"
dmblonde 13
Hey just be happy you now have a job. Who cares about how you look. Make some money and enjoy.
olpally 33
Tell her she's a bitch... And there's no cure for chronic bitch syndrome, and tell your boss you feel sorry for him... Too far? Nope... Congrats on the job, hopefully he's a lot nicer than she is, bitch...
BIGpenis 4
Haha your cute
zandalee 20
No you are. ;)
gc327072 31
19 & 27: this is FML, not okcupid, move along.
Mirorbo 27
One order of "ouch" with a side of "daaaaaymmmnnn!" Whatever happened to the golden rule? My goodness!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
It was silenced by the silver duct tape. Maybe his wife needs to be, too.
afropuffjake 9
If there's anything I've learned about affairs, looks really don't seem to have anything to do with it. Shit even Shania Twain was cheated on. If the boss is sleeping around it might be because the wife's a bitch. I hope you have other offers OP, but like everyone says a job is a job. Just don't look to make this a permanent one :-)