Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my boyfriend, when he suddenly decided to lift up my shirt, stick his face into my boobs, and go all Darth Vader on me. This included heavy breathing and phrases such as, "Amber... I am your boyfriend." FML
Today, I had an asthma attack while in bed with my boyfriend. He interrupted my desperate coughing only to tell me to shut up. He then rolled over to go back to sleep. FML
Today, I went to the doctor after being sick for weeks. I found out that I had bronchitis that then progressed to pneumonia. My girlfriend is hearing impaired, and when I can finally get words to come out when I speak, she can't understand them. I'm not sure who I feel more sorry for. FML
Today, I woke up on my boyfriend's bedroom floor. When I asked him why I was there, he said I'd gotten too hot, so he rolled me off his bed. I have the flu and a fever. FML
Today, my boyfriend endearingly told me that he's been taking advantage of my inability to smell due to a head cold, and he's been farting around me whenever he pleases. FML
Today, I got the flu. Feeling really sick and depressed, I called my boyfriend to get some comfort. When he didn't answer his phone, I called his house, only to hear his mother telling me, "He was so sad that you guys broke up." I didn't know. FML
Today, my fiancé called and hung up right after I answered. He called back 5 minutes later demanding to know the name of the man who answered my phone. This "man" was me. I have bronchitis. Yes, he's aware of this. FML
Today, my boyfriend made me breakfast because I had a cold. Because my nose was so stuffed, I couldn't tell that our milk had gone bad. I had two cups. And now I'm stuck on the toilet. FML
Today, I woke up feeling like shit after I had spent the whole night taking care of my sick boyfriend. He got up early, feeling great, bouncing around the house. When I finally got up I told him I didn't feel well and he yelled at me for being a bitch in the morning that slows him down. FML
Today, after recovering from pneumonia and a severe asthma attack caused by my dad's fiancée's cat, he chose to keep the cat. I can't go to his house without having to go to the hospital later. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Pleonasm 36
"Anakin, you're breaking my heart!"
Rommel1942 9
If that isn't love I don't know what is xD.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (138)
lonx805 1
Ahahahahaha, you've gotta admit . That is pretty funny . (;
saltycookies 5
I'm sorry you're sick but have a sense of humor. It'll help in the long run
sadistmonkey 19
Your boyfriend fails. Darth Vader's breathing is LONG and heavy.
the_enigma1019 1
Look at it this way, your boyfriend has a sense of humor, which is getting rarer and rarer these days...
tlugardo 5
I thought it was dark vapor too...I guess im no star wars genius...but yea OP I would have just laughed it off
mercsl65 7
Women here is one of the most important pieces of information anyone can give you about men. We will try to make u feel better by making a fun innocent joke. At Least he didn't ask u to give him a bj, albeit slowly.
CountMango 5
You should be able to take that with a grain of salt. Just a joke.
Meesersuperman1 4
I'd say that's pretty funny.
CharresBarkrey 16
... I think you've got the wrong FML here.
Evilpirate 10
Atleast he was trying to stay positive :)