Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my boyfriend, when he suddenly decided to lift up my shirt, stick his face into my boobs, and go all Darth Vader on me. This included heavy breathing and phrases such as, "Amber... I am your boyfriend." FML
Today, I had an asthma attack while in bed with my boyfriend. He interrupted my desperate coughing only to tell me to shut up. He then rolled over to go back to sleep. FML
Today, I went to the doctor after being sick for weeks. I found out that I had bronchitis that then progressed to pneumonia. My girlfriend is hearing impaired, and when I can finally get words to come out when I speak, she can't understand them. I'm not sure who I feel more sorry for. FML
Today, I woke up on my boyfriend's bedroom floor. When I asked him why I was there, he said I'd gotten too hot, so he rolled me off his bed. I have the flu and a fever. FML
Today, my boyfriend endearingly told me that he's been taking advantage of my inability to smell due to a head cold, and he's been farting around me whenever he pleases. FML
Today, I got the flu. Feeling really sick and depressed, I called my boyfriend to get some comfort. When he didn't answer his phone, I called his house, only to hear his mother telling me, "He was so sad that you guys broke up." I didn't know. FML
Today, my fiancé called and hung up right after I answered. He called back 5 minutes later demanding to know the name of the man who answered my phone. This "man" was me. I have bronchitis. Yes, he's aware of this. FML
Today, my boyfriend made me breakfast because I had a cold. Because my nose was so stuffed, I couldn't tell that our milk had gone bad. I had two cups. And now I'm stuck on the toilet. FML
Today, I woke up feeling like shit after I had spent the whole night taking care of my sick boyfriend. He got up early, feeling great, bouncing around the house. When I finally got up I told him I didn't feel well and he yelled at me for being a bitch in the morning that slows him down. FML
Today, after recovering from pneumonia and a severe asthma attack caused by my dad's fiancée's cat, he chose to keep the cat. I can't go to his house without having to go to the hospital later. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
"Anakin, you're breaking my heart!"
Rommel1942 9
If that isn't love I don't know what is xD.
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Comments (138)
DocBastard 40
I gotta Han it to you, that's a pretty Lukewarm response. You probably look pretty Wan, and you might have to Leia in bed for a week with this! Yodan't have to take this crap from him! Tell him to Fettch you some cough medicine and your antibiotic. You'll be back in the Lando the living in no time!
Pleonasm 36
Yep, that's pretty much all of them. With one fell swoop you dis-Droid all hopes of other pun-runs, like it was a Walker in the park. All other other attempts will be weak; I could try to X-wing it, but it would be a Wookie attempt at best, and a bit Forced.
DocBastard 40
Indeed. This comment was no Ewok in the park! But it seems you and I R2 of the only ones to get it.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
This thread was great. I love Star Wars.
Pleonasm 36
Don't Fett too much about it, Doc, and don't let it take the Windu out of your sails. Me-Binks that these people just don't appreciate good puns, and are thumbing you down for Alderaan reasons. Let Qui-Gons be Qui-Gons; it was a great run.
BulldogHoops 14
Holy **** was this wonderful
avaloncode 8
this entire thread just made my day
muzy 23
OP's boyfriend's darth humour seems to be very sidious
measday21 5
Lol nice one
Obey_StudBoii 23
The force is strong with this one
perdix 31
That is comforting . . . just start worrying if you get a series of super-sweet texts from him -- that means he's been whipping out his light saber with some other chick.
gracehi 33
At least he didn't call you Yoda and say, "Be with you, the force will."
justhanging 6
So, you have a contagious disease and you decided to hang around your boyfriend so he could catch it? And, you're concerned that he doesn't care about YOU enough?
rieebee 23
It's not contagious...
Enslaved 38
I heard it "can" be contagious but it's difficult to catch. What the hell? When you're sick, you want to be comforted-- not left for dead because others fear of catching it. Wash your hands, load up on vitamins and take care of the ones you love! Chicken soup, please!
CallmeRyuzaki 0
Pnemonia isnt contagious. What triggers it though is. Usually the flu. So it can start as the flu, and then it could turn to pneumonia if you aren't careful or have a weak immune system.
justhanging 6
"Some cases of pneumonia are contracted by breathing in small droplets that contain the organisms that can cause pneumonia. These droplets get into the air when a person infected with these germs coughs or sneezes." 5 seconds spent Googling "how do you catch pneumonia"
CharresBarkrey 16
Of course pneumonia is contagious. It's either viral or bacterial, which are both contagious.
helpfulperson 9
And that's when you turn to him and say :"You have failed me for the last time!" As you crunch his nuts with the full power of the Dark Side
kristof16 1
They should already have the complete star wars set
99megster 15
There seems to be a lot of head-patting today. Is it just me, or do you get completely pissed off when someone pats/touches your head?
krs7g4 8
That sounds like a normal response.
barefootchic 6
Some people just don't know how to express concern. He was probably hoping you'd laugh and humor would make you feel better. As I hope you will, OP!