Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my boyfriend, when he suddenly decided to lift up my shirt, stick his face into my boobs, and go all Darth Vader on me. This included heavy breathing and phrases such as, "Amber... I am your boyfriend." FML
Today, I had an asthma attack while in bed with my boyfriend. He interrupted my desperate coughing only to tell me to shut up. He then rolled over to go back to sleep. FML
Today, I went to the doctor after being sick for weeks. I found out that I had bronchitis that then progressed to pneumonia. My girlfriend is hearing impaired, and when I can finally get words to come out when I speak, she can't understand them. I'm not sure who I feel more sorry for. FML
Today, I woke up on my boyfriend's bedroom floor. When I asked him why I was there, he said I'd gotten too hot, so he rolled me off his bed. I have the flu and a fever. FML
Today, my boyfriend endearingly told me that he's been taking advantage of my inability to smell due to a head cold, and he's been farting around me whenever he pleases. FML
Today, I got the flu. Feeling really sick and depressed, I called my boyfriend to get some comfort. When he didn't answer his phone, I called his house, only to hear his mother telling me, "He was so sad that you guys broke up." I didn't know. FML
Today, my fiancé called and hung up right after I answered. He called back 5 minutes later demanding to know the name of the man who answered my phone. This "man" was me. I have bronchitis. Yes, he's aware of this. FML
Today, my boyfriend made me breakfast because I had a cold. Because my nose was so stuffed, I couldn't tell that our milk had gone bad. I had two cups. And now I'm stuck on the toilet. FML
Today, I woke up feeling like shit after I had spent the whole night taking care of my sick boyfriend. He got up early, feeling great, bouncing around the house. When I finally got up I told him I didn't feel well and he yelled at me for being a bitch in the morning that slows him down. FML
Today, after recovering from pneumonia and a severe asthma attack caused by my dad's fiancée's cat, he chose to keep the cat. I can't go to his house without having to go to the hospital later. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
"Anakin, you're breaking my heart!"
Rommel1942 9
If that isn't love I don't know what is xD.
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Comments (138)
conman531 23
May the Force be with you
dan_in_wi 12
star wars sucks!
gracehi 33
You suck!
dan_in_wi 12
hahaha
maddygirl820 10
I mean at least you got a pat on the head… my boyfriend would tell me to suck it up and probably wouldn't even come near me OP
lostcrazydiamond 10
I would have laughed if my boyfriend told me that in the same situation. :) Or, you know, sat there choking because of the pneumonia.
laylay33 6
Am I the only ins who always thought it was dark vader..?
BulldogHoops 14
Yes. Yes you are. In other news... WTF, Brah?
Pleonasm 36
The French call him "Dark Vador" with a really shitty accent.
BulldogHoops 14
He was probably trying to be comforting and cute. Cut him some slack, a lot of us men suck at that.
ICastillo 25
Well it should help you relax, knowing the force is strong with you OP. Na, but really take care of yourself, that's a very serious illness.
xWhackedPanther 18
Won't you be fun on may the 4th
CallmeRyuzaki 0
I got that once a few years ago. Worst experience of my life. It felt like my life was slowly but steadily leaving me. Cortisone saved my life.
Enslaved 38
Aweee that's actually cute. Too bad you're too ill to appreciate the effort of his humour.