Today, while stocking up in preparation for Hurricane Irma, an old lady hit me over the head with her walker. She wanted the loaf of bread I'd grabbed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML
Today, I was walking out of a grocery store. I hit the button on my key to open the trunk, which hit an old lady just under her chin and knocked her to the ground. As she laid there, she pointed a shaky, bony finger at me and yelled that she would sue me for everything I have. FML
Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML
Today, at work, an elderly lady came up to the cash register with a flyer in her hand, and asked if we had a certain item. I told her we did not have any left, and we would be getting more next week and if she wanted, I could give her a rain check. She hit me in the face with her purse. FML
Today, I was at the supermarket when an elderly lady asked if I'd grab some coffee for her from a high shelf. The moment I took my hands off my almost-full shopping cart, she made off with it. I ended up getting thrown out by security after she claimed I was trying to steal it from her. FML
Today, I was in a grocery store with my great-grandmother. It would've been nice to know she hadn't taken her medication before she started beating the cashier with her umbrella. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a little old lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML
Today, I was at Target deciding what chap-stick to get when an old lady violently hit me with her umbrella and kept yelling at me saying, "You are too young for this! Think twice!" FML
Today, I walked into a store to buy a type of bread I like. The stuff was sold out, so I asked an employee when they'll be restocking it. The employee yelled at me, because, "They do have that bread," walks to the isle, and then when she saw that they really were out of the bread, she walked off. FML
Today, I was strolling past an old women when from behind me she called, "Can you help me get the rest of the groceries out of the car?" I approached the car, and helped her unload bags. She began hitting me, screaming, "SOMEONE IS STEALING MY THINGS". She was actually asking her son in the car. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
davecross 11
Get up take the bread back and take the old lady's walker with you and leave it at the front of the store.
RichardPencil 32
Holy shit! She hit you with her walker?!?! That's assault -- call the cops! (When old ladies hit you with their purse, that's not a crime because it's just too cute.)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (13)
davecross 11
Get up take the bread back and take the old lady's walker with you and leave it at the front of the store.
Dave_Davington 34
There's only one sensible response to this. Follow her around the store and grab every last thing that she so much as glances at.
RichardPencil 32
Holy shit! She hit you with her walker?!?! That's assault -- call the cops! (When old ladies hit you with their purse, that's not a crime because it's just too cute.)
Shabnam Moghal 14
Haha!
Lobby_Bee 18
Purse is more plausible, walker is hard to believe. Lift it over her head up to your height and smacked you? Are you a midget?
acmariner99 25
Irma gerd... how rude.
mattyiscool123 26
This must've happened a week ago. The hurricane is pretty much gone by now
DanielleinDC 34
It probably takes a few days to go through the vetting process.
RockPrincess26 16
It does.
acertwo 17
I would've pushed that bitch to the ground
Shzusuziq 16
I doubt any old lady could lift a walker up high enough to hit you over the head. Perhaps you meant a cane?
mikbrooke 25
some walkers are pretty light. and old people can do surprising stuff when they are determined.
krray 7
Ah, I see you met my mom. How is she doing?