Today, I was diagnosed with a condition that makes me lactate. I'm a 6' tattooed guy with a boxing competition coming up soon. I'm never going to hear the end of this. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got my medical checkup back. Apparently, I'm diagnosed with a liver condition generally found in alcoholics. I've never drank in my life. FML
Today, I found out that I'm highly-placed in my wrestling competition this year. I also found out that I have mono and won't be able to take part for at least the first half of the competition. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for a sports physical. I've had a giant, dark birthmark on my left ribcage that I've hated most of my life. Recently I've learned to embrace it and show it off by wearing bikinis. My doctor saw it and told me it's a fungus that's been spreading on my side all my life. FML
Today, I discovered that I have developed a latex allergy. I'm a third year medical student. FML
Today, I went to the gym to run. I ended up at the hospital because i went into anaphylactic shock. Apparently I'm allergic to exercise now. FML
Today, two days before a big weight lifting competition with a $3,000 grand prize, I broke my arm. FML
Today, I got diagnosed with Lyme disease. My whole family thought it would be hilarious to call it, "Lame disease." FML
Today, I had to finally come to terms with the fact that I am obese when the doctor told me that my weird smell was not an infection but mold growing between my fat rolls. FML
Today, my doctor told me I had "abnormally large breasts." This wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't a 20 year old man. FML
Today, I applied to a new gym. Now I have a hernia. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Drink your own breast milk. It's supposedly good for building muscle. Soon you'll be having your opponents begging for your secret.
askullnamedbilly 33
Just tell the haters your body's in such good shape even your nipples are crying at the sight of it!
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Comments (92)
shebewoofle 21
Maybe your nipples will throw off you opponent? Good luck in your competition!
Joshawott 21
If you run into trouble, just give them a squirt in the eyes and scuttle away, a la Dr. Zoidberg. Simples.
zadok24 11
Change your boxing name to The Milkman
Corboner 9
Use it as a scare tactic and start lactating during the fight!
baken101 12
Protect your chest from the punches.hehe!
eliiteXXXninja 21
I'm a boxer too
DevHowarth 6
My husband has the same problem. Hey, shit happens and everybody is flawed.
jimeple 12
I guess you should've taken some estrogen blockers with those roids.
vikky538 29
At least you are not a 'cow'ard
dragoongirl90 34
That's not your fault, OP. I would still date you.