Today, I was diagnosed with a condition that makes me lactate. I'm a 6' tattooed guy with a boxing competition coming up soon. I'm never going to hear the end of this. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got my medical checkup back. Apparently, I'm diagnosed with a liver condition generally found in alcoholics. I've never drank in my life. FML
Today, I found out that I'm highly-placed in my wrestling competition this year. I also found out that I have mono and won't be able to take part for at least the first half of the competition. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for a sports physical. I've had a giant, dark birthmark on my left ribcage that I've hated most of my life. Recently I've learned to embrace it and show it off by wearing bikinis. My doctor saw it and told me it's a fungus that's been spreading on my side all my life. FML
Today, I discovered that I have developed a latex allergy. I'm a third year medical student. FML
Today, I went to the gym to run. I ended up at the hospital because i went into anaphylactic shock. Apparently I'm allergic to exercise now. FML
Today, two days before a big weight lifting competition with a $3,000 grand prize, I broke my arm. FML
Today, I got diagnosed with Lyme disease. My whole family thought it would be hilarious to call it, "Lame disease." FML
Today, I had to finally come to terms with the fact that I am obese when the doctor told me that my weird smell was not an infection but mold growing between my fat rolls. FML
Today, my doctor told me I had "abnormally large breasts." This wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't a 20 year old man. FML
Today, I applied to a new gym. Now I have a hernia. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Drink your own breast milk. It's supposedly good for building muscle. Soon you'll be having your opponents begging for your secret.
askullnamedbilly 33
Just tell the haters your body's in such good shape even your nipples are crying at the sight of it!
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Comments (92)
mintlegendary 14
Call yourself The Milky Way
LyricaSilvan 30
The best thing you can do is not give a **** what people say. If you're a big, muscly dude, intimidate them into keeping their immaturity to themselves.
themassivefuckup 16
Have you tried that liquid bandage stuff? Could work.
olillia 16
I mean I know this sucks and is inconvenient, but this is ******* AWESOME. Seriously, dude. It's weird to think about, but you could seriously nourish a child and if that's not the dopest shit you've ever heard, get the **** out of my face
Ninjerman 7
People in the United Kingdom have the stones to mock a boxer? Damn, I'm out!
bobslawnservice 16
Yeah, like you just get "Diagnosed" as abusing steroids.
sybylly 2
I call bullshit
kev1029 22
Don't take needles in the butt
Xion0014 20
Gay fathers would probably love to be you right now xD (i don't mean this negatively)
FML1000timesover 7
Titty boy