Today, I was chaperoning at my local high school's Homecoming dance. Outside the gym, I saw some kids drinking, so I walked over to stop them. One of them promptly spun around and punched me in the mouth. I had my ass handed to by a drunk 9th grader. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to my Homecoming dance. I had a great time until some fat girl kept trying to dance with my date, even though he politely asked her to stop. I decided to intervene. I found myself pinned to the floor by a fat girl crushing on my date, who was cheering her on as she tackled me. FML
Today, while on a haunted trail, I accidentally punched a high-schooler in the throat. FML
Today, at my high school reunion, my old bully tried to apologize but I told her to fuck off. She wouldn't leave me alone, so I purposely spilled my drink on her. I got kicked out. FML
Today, I chaperoned a school dance. A song I knew came on, and, wanting to be the fun teacher, I danced around a little. The students then pointed and laughed. I graduated in '87 and high school still hurts. FML
Today, I was at a nightclub when some dick squeezed the ass of the girl beside me. She whirled around and started yelling and slapping me across the face. I was dragged out by the bouncers, to cheers from the people around us. FML
Today, I was walking to class, when a kid came up behind me and smacked me in the face a few times until I fell to the ground. I rolled over and he said, "Oh shit! Wrong person, my bad." FML
Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML
Today, I went to a party where I met some nice girls. One of them was really sweet and we were having a great time in my friend's backyard. As I was on the swing, I was gonna give her my number, but instead, I gave her a harsh kick to the face. FML
Today, my friend was picking on me at school by constantly tapping on my shoulder. At recess I had enough. I felt the familiar tap on my shoulder, and I drove my elbow into what I thought was my friend's stomach. It was my Principal. FML
Today, I finally confronted my bully. Too bad it was at my high school reunion and he beat the shit out of me. FML
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Top comments
Freeze_fml 17
His future doesn't seem very bright anyway.
ollie179 21
Now look here you young wippersnaps. Alcohol is bad ok? So let me take these and... SMACK!
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Comments (116)
GeoKunk 0
FRESHMAN!
stickman1122 8
I would've kicked his ass.
iwadasn 33
I'm pretty sure a teacher would get fired and arrested for beating up a student.
metalcoremaster 4
Drunk frosh ftw
Themrcobain 2
well since you were chaperoning. I'm guessing you are over 21. It's a good thing you didn't fight back or it would be harming a minor
purplegirl7 0
that's exactly what happened at my sisters dance! where do u live again?
JakeTha_A01 5
Damn, you might want to hit the gym hahaha
fernclogger 5
You should've gut punched that freshman to put him in his place. Causing him to throw up. He was drunk so he probably won't know what you look like
hiddenpoet 0
Well just don't give a ****
cactusdesu 15
I didn't know kids still thought drinking was cool.
MisUnFortunate 31
They don't think it's "cool" they've just discovered a cheaper version of therapy for their mental problems. :)