Today, I went to a party where I met some nice girls. One of them was really sweet and we were having a great time in my friend's backyard. As I was on the swing, I was gonna give her my number, but instead, I gave her a harsh kick to the face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at my 3 year-old niece's birthday party. I was swinging on their swing set when she walked directly into my path. I tried to jump off the swing, but I could not stop myself in time. I ended up kicking her in the face and giving her a black eye. Happy birthday! FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML
Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML
Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML
Today, I met a great girl at a party. We talked alone, and she made me promise I'd dance with her later. When I saw her later, she was unconscious, and in an ambulance. She'd collapsed, and the entire party assumed I'd spiked her drink. FML
Today, at a nightclub, a cute girl started hitting on me. I got into it and we danced. Just as she started getting frisky with me, a guy shoved me off, smacked me to the floor with a right-hook, and shouted, "That's what you get for touching my woman." FML
Today, I was playing one on one soccer with a girl like. I accidentally kicked the ball right into her face. The ball rolled back towards me and as I was running to see if she was ok, I kicked the ball… right into her face again. FML
Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML
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Top comments
ScaryyMary 14
You're doing it wrong. You're supposed to HIT on girls, not KICK on them. Sheesh.
NGM_47 0
she was the one pushing him :)
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Comments (44)
jimgrant1 0
doof..
musicninja 0
Oooh. That sucks! But it'll be okay. Maybe she'll be nice enough to realize it was an accident. Good luck!
Apachefire21 0
broo... your so dumb haha. so excited you kicked her in face? really? come on now.
DameGreyWulf 1
He kicked her with his third leg.
cerebellum_fml 0
. . . was she knocked out?
redbluegreen 41
Swinging into action, eh?
rawr_ima_bear 0
ur on fml too much arent u? ive seen u post comments on like every fml ive read
allmidnighteyes 11
Rachel has a stalkerr
redbluegreen 41
You're on quite a bit if you notice me that much. (;
FarSide 23
@29... perhaps they are... but YOU are the one with the royally ****** up life.
redbluegreen 41
Care to explain?
FarSide 23
@34... I misunderstood who was being referenced by the comment. My response was intended towards OP, but it references you directly. My sincere apology, and thanks for that deserved open-palm face slap.
YDIBITCHES 0
6th
YDI_Whore 0
You may be a bitch, but Im a *****! YDI X 100!!!
Lkdude77 0
Y does it always happen before something good is about to happen?
allmidnighteyes 11
swing set? Was mommy standing 3 feet away cheering you on, too?
NGM_47 0
she was the one pushing him :)
redbluegreen 41
Totally. And there you are Twinny! I've missed your sarcastic butt.
allmidnighteyes 11
There I am? Have I been lost or something? Am I wandering through limbo? If you're wondering where I've been today, I have to illustrate 24 pages of a story in Photoshop before the 19th for my English class =/
redbluegreen 41
I saw something like that on your Facebook. -snuggles- That's a ******* lot though. At least you didn't kick your future beloved in the face, eh?
allmidnighteyes 11
Not yet... It'll be like Ryu doing one of his mid-air kicks in Street Fighter.
Sweny 0
If your gonna kick someone do it well,like a nice roundhouse kick to the jaw will do next time
noshitsherlock 0
HAHAHAH more like **** HER life!
Emperor_Jim 0
Everybody was kung-fu fighting...
TheLetterZero 7
HA!