Today, I was babysitting. The kid said he had to use the bathroom. When I told him to go ahead, he said he just did. He was on my lap. He wasn't wearing pants. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while teaching at a daycare, a child came up to me and asked if he could go to the bathroom. Obviously, I said it was fine. He then pulled his pants down, and pee on my brand new shoes, and all over my leg. FML
Today, I was babysitting a little girl. She told me she wanted to go to the park, so we did. As we were walking back, I was carrying her on my back. When we were almost at the front door, she told me she had to pee. I told her to hold it in for a second. As we were walking through the door, I felt a warm spot on my back. FML
Today, while the kid I was babysitting was in the bathroom, he called to me "I need some help in here." Worried I ran to the bathroom and asked him what was wrong. He needed me to wipe his butt. As if that weren't gross enough, just as my hand was under his butt, he pooped again and laughed. FML
Today, I was pooping in a public toilet and a kid had walked in on me. I then heard him tell his dad, "It's okay, I didn't see anything, he was fat so his chubby legs hid it." FML
Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML
Today, while babysitting, I gave the boy a pen and paper because he wanted to draw me. When he was done, he let me see, but then said, "Wait! I'm not done." He took it back and basically colored in the arms. I said, "I'm not wearing long-sleeves." He said, "That's hair." FML
Today, I discovered that my 8-year old is not fully toilet trained when a turd fell out of his pants, shortly after introducing him to his new babysitter. FML
Today, I was working at my day-camp, and one of my little boys told me he had to show me something important. He proudly showed me that he'd crapped his pants. I had to wipe his ass clean. FML
Today, I babysat a 4-year-old child for my neighbor. It seems he had diarrhea. The evidence of this is in his pants, down his leg, on the couch, on the bathroom floor, smeared on my wall, and in the shape of a brown handprint on my shirt. FML
Today, I was babysitting my cousin when I realized my aunt didn't tell me where the diapers were. I searched the entire house, but I had no luck. Then my cousin ripped off the diaper she was wearing and peed on the kitchen floor. FML
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Top comments
kel_pie 1
why would be holding a kid that had no pants on ...
imperfectclarity 0
Why was he sitting on your lap without pants?? Ew.
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Comments (198)
lepercaunsal 0
sooooooooo u didn't feal it when he was going?
Brianne11 0
why the hell did he have no pants on??
rawr_forever 0
pretty much like everyone said, why was there a pantsless kid on your lap... ? must I say... suspicious!!!! GET SOME DAMN PANTS ON THAT BABY!!!!!!!!!
aam12 0
why were you holding someone else's kid on your lap while he wasn't wearing pants?!
aam12 0
wanna dance with no pants on! HOLLA!
Quest_ 13
I really like the way you so nonchalantly added "he wasn't wearing pants" as the punchline to this FML, like we're all meant to laugh and be merry. You didn't expect a barrage of "WTF" comments as to why: a) There was a partially naked child who is old enough to talk on your lap. b) You did not notice his urine/shit drizzling into your throbbing muff.
brandothemando 0
lap-dance anyone? sex on a chair? wif a kid? kinky. ;)
DynamicDave 11
113 FTMFW!!!!! I lol'ed. Best comment ever. I wondered the same thing.
Jim9349 10
WTF YTF DO YOU HAVE A NAKED CHILD ON YOUR LAP Get some clothing on that child return him to his real parents and seek mental help imidiatly.
outty5000 0
this is the same thing that everyone has said. but srsly that kid should be wearing pants. its kind of grose im not going to lie
quietlytearful 0
you spelled gross wrong.