Today, I was babysitting a little girl down the street. She pulled out her 'memory box', which contained many childhood treasures. After pulling out a variety of dresses and baby pictures, she says, "... and here's my belly button!" and plops an umbilical chord in my hands. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I showed the kids I was babysitting a picture of my daughter, and the little girl asked, "You have a baby in your belly?" I said, "No, she's not in my belly anymore," and the little girl replied, "But it's BIG," and patted my stomach. FML
Today, I had to slowly explain to my best friend that when babies are born, the umbilical cord is attached to the baby's belly-button, not the mother's. FML
Today, I was babysitting a three-year-old. She asked me what was wrong with my belly. I had to explain to her that I'm just fat. Twice. FML
Today, the kids I was babysitting somehow found a pair of my underwear. They asked if they could use them to go parachuting. FML
Today, as I was working at my babysitting job, I was watching a 3.5 year old girl. She begged and begged me to come in the jacuzzi with her, and when I put on my 2-piece bathing suit on, the young girl asked me why my stomach looked like a bagel. I looked down just to realize she was right. FML
Today, my father made his bellybutton talk. In front of my new boyfriend. FML
Today, I picked up my daughter from preschool. Her teacher handed me her nap blankets and mentioned there was an extra article of clothing I might want to take home. I looked in-between the blankets and saw a pair of my giant granny panties that had gotten mixed in with her stuff. FML
Today, I was babysitting a little girl. She told me she wanted to go to the park, so we did. As we were walking back, I was carrying her on my back. When we were almost at the front door, she told me she had to pee. I told her to hold it in for a second. As we were walking through the door, I felt a warm spot on my back. FML
Today, my class got baby dolls for the week to teach us how to be good parents. After school, I went to the store with my mom with the baby doll. When I got home, I realized that I left the baby doll in a shopping cart. FML
Today, I was babysitting my baby cousin. I was lying on my back playing with her, while holding her up in the air. As I was doing that, I made cooing noises and funny faces to get her to laugh. She laughed and threw up in my mouth. FML
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Top comments
MukyDaCookie 0
What a precious childhood memory. Every kid should keep one of those, mine is under my pillow along with my tonsils, wisdom teeth and my first crap.
kiran_fml 5
disgusting!!!
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Comments (143)
Zomlette 0
Blech. I'm down with umbilical cords because that's what kept me alive for quite some time, but I'm not gonna frame one or anything. Kids are weird.
venom11065 0
This... just cant be true...
_Noon_ 0
That is just Plain Gross. I think I just threw up in my mouth.
domii_fml 0
HAHAHHAHAHHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHH, her parents, are a bit....messed up.
xAvital 0
thats gross................ what the hell
paprikacha 9
Okay, that's just ****** up.
MadeOfAwesome 1
Ewwie... So how old is that girl?? (what I'm really asking is... How old is that umbilical cord?? )
blueflare21 3
What the hell that's just disturbing reminds me I that game silent hill 4 the room if anyone played it and beat it...
_Noon_ 0
What I like about this FML is that there's no way you could've seen it coming. The climax was just so.. surprising and disgusting at the same time. Awesome FML, fav'd.
fml__love 0
That’s disgusting beyond belief, FYL.