Today, I was babysitting a little girl down the street. She pulled out her 'memory box', which contained many childhood treasures. After pulling out a variety of dresses and baby pictures, she says, "... and here's my belly button!" and plops an umbilical chord in my hands. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I showed the kids I was babysitting a picture of my daughter, and the little girl asked, "You have a baby in your belly?" I said, "No, she's not in my belly anymore," and the little girl replied, "But it's BIG," and patted my stomach. FML
Today, I had to slowly explain to my best friend that when babies are born, the umbilical cord is attached to the baby's belly-button, not the mother's. FML
Today, I was babysitting a three-year-old. She asked me what was wrong with my belly. I had to explain to her that I'm just fat. Twice. FML
Today, the kids I was babysitting somehow found a pair of my underwear. They asked if they could use them to go parachuting. FML
Today, as I was working at my babysitting job, I was watching a 3.5 year old girl. She begged and begged me to come in the jacuzzi with her, and when I put on my 2-piece bathing suit on, the young girl asked me why my stomach looked like a bagel. I looked down just to realize she was right. FML
Today, my father made his bellybutton talk. In front of my new boyfriend. FML
Today, I picked up my daughter from preschool. Her teacher handed me her nap blankets and mentioned there was an extra article of clothing I might want to take home. I looked in-between the blankets and saw a pair of my giant granny panties that had gotten mixed in with her stuff. FML
Today, I was babysitting a little girl. She told me she wanted to go to the park, so we did. As we were walking back, I was carrying her on my back. When we were almost at the front door, she told me she had to pee. I told her to hold it in for a second. As we were walking through the door, I felt a warm spot on my back. FML
Today, my class got baby dolls for the week to teach us how to be good parents. After school, I went to the store with my mom with the baby doll. When I got home, I realized that I left the baby doll in a shopping cart. FML
Today, I was babysitting my baby cousin. I was lying on my back playing with her, while holding her up in the air. As I was doing that, I made cooing noises and funny faces to get her to laugh. She laughed and threw up in my mouth. FML
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Top comments
MukyDaCookie 0
What a precious childhood memory. Every kid should keep one of those, mine is under my pillow along with my tonsils, wisdom teeth and my first crap.
kiran_fml 5
disgusting!!!
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Comments (143)
heyFYL 0
uhh, I'm pretty sure umbilical cords have the most purest blood, so some families save them just incase their child ever has a very serious disease or so they can use the blood to help them find a cure or so.
Sharrakor 0
A rather large number of comments decrying how fscking gross kids are. I'm pretty sure the girl didn't actually make the decision to keep her umbilical cord... The umbilical cord is a bit important in some cultures. I believe that in Hmong cultures, it needs to be buried below the house; doing so is related to...ah, my memory's foggy, but it has something to do with "tying" their soul to the house. But this is the first I've heard of someone just plain keeping it. Sentimental attachments sure can be strange.
Marx0r 0
You touched a piece of dried-out tissue. I fail to see how that can affect you enough to classify as an FML.
santi15 0
Shit thats disgusting!! almost threw up
Stevieebabyy 0
3: I feel very, very sorry for you. OP: Tell the parents!
dlogan93 0
why the hell did they have an umbilical cord?? and you spelled cord wrong.
LikelyYourFake 0
For anyone grossed out by this, unless it was in a jar, which it sure does not sound like, this is just totally fake. The cord is meat and just like any meat, it would have rotted and fallen apart by now unless dried and cured - which if it could "plop" into her hands, it wasn't (I also don't know of anyone who has ever done this). This is just a fake. Move on...
Acidwash1987 0
why is this so gross? its just a dried piece of cord...when dried its only maybe 3 cm long....I don't see how this is really gross...a lot of people keep their kids umbilical cord. (the section that was still on after bringing the baby home)
aaedel 0
That exact thing happened to me about 5 years ago!
xSceneSceneBabyx 0
ugggggggghh! NASTY!