Today, I was babysitting a little girl down the street. She pulled out her 'memory box', which contained many childhood treasures. After pulling out a variety of dresses and baby pictures, she says, "... and here's my belly button!" and plops an umbilical chord in my hands. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I showed the kids I was babysitting a picture of my daughter, and the little girl asked, "You have a baby in your belly?" I said, "No, she's not in my belly anymore," and the little girl replied, "But it's BIG," and patted my stomach. FML
Today, I had to slowly explain to my best friend that when babies are born, the umbilical cord is attached to the baby's belly-button, not the mother's. FML
Today, I was babysitting a three-year-old. She asked me what was wrong with my belly. I had to explain to her that I'm just fat. Twice. FML
Today, the kids I was babysitting somehow found a pair of my underwear. They asked if they could use them to go parachuting. FML
Today, as I was working at my babysitting job, I was watching a 3.5 year old girl. She begged and begged me to come in the jacuzzi with her, and when I put on my 2-piece bathing suit on, the young girl asked me why my stomach looked like a bagel. I looked down just to realize she was right. FML
Today, my father made his bellybutton talk. In front of my new boyfriend. FML
Today, I picked up my daughter from preschool. Her teacher handed me her nap blankets and mentioned there was an extra article of clothing I might want to take home. I looked in-between the blankets and saw a pair of my giant granny panties that had gotten mixed in with her stuff. FML
Today, I was babysitting a little girl. She told me she wanted to go to the park, so we did. As we were walking back, I was carrying her on my back. When we were almost at the front door, she told me she had to pee. I told her to hold it in for a second. As we were walking through the door, I felt a warm spot on my back. FML
Today, my class got baby dolls for the week to teach us how to be good parents. After school, I went to the store with my mom with the baby doll. When I got home, I realized that I left the baby doll in a shopping cart. FML
Today, I was babysitting my baby cousin. I was lying on my back playing with her, while holding her up in the air. As I was doing that, I made cooing noises and funny faces to get her to laugh. She laughed and threw up in my mouth. FML
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Top comments
MukyDaCookie 0
What a precious childhood memory. Every kid should keep one of those, mine is under my pillow along with my tonsils, wisdom teeth and my first crap.
kiran_fml 5
disgusting!!!
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Comments (143)
lrb081 0
my sister kept her son's cord. while I understand it's not the most mentally pleasant image, it really isn't THAT bad. it's just dried up tissue. it isn't like it's this floppy spongy tube like in its original state. I wouldn't do it myself, but I have seen it and just wanted to clarify what I think a lot of people are misunderstanding and imagining.
Zer0de 0
Mmmm Beef Jerky. But seriously that's gross.
Bunnystomper 1
Baby jerky! :D
suzh824 0
the girls i babysit have theirs in a little box and they are constantly playing with it and showing me over and over again. It's gross!
26242 0
This made me shudder. I'm sorry.
kellbelle26 0
Oh, I hope you didn't die. Who cares!
DirtyParkBench 0
It's really not that bad. That thing kept her alive while she was being made. I wish my parents had kept mine.
luvedward4evr 0
That is disgusting
Klairyyy 0
who keeps the umbilical chord? eww
RyeBreadBoy 0
it's spelled "cord". not "chord", which is used in music. thought you should know. that said, i assume the cord is at least preserved in some type of special bag or something and not just chilling in a ziploc. but still, i wouldn't want things like that (or really any sentimental items) where my small child could easily get her hands on them.
redbluegreen 41
... HERE'S CORDY!