Today, I was babysitting a little girl down the street. She pulled out her 'memory box', which contained many childhood treasures. After pulling out a variety of dresses and baby pictures, she says, "... and here's my belly button!" and plops an umbilical chord in my hands. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I showed the kids I was babysitting a picture of my daughter, and the little girl asked, "You have a baby in your belly?" I said, "No, she's not in my belly anymore," and the little girl replied, "But it's BIG," and patted my stomach. FML
Today, I had to slowly explain to my best friend that when babies are born, the umbilical cord is attached to the baby's belly-button, not the mother's. FML
Today, I was babysitting a three-year-old. She asked me what was wrong with my belly. I had to explain to her that I'm just fat. Twice. FML
Today, the kids I was babysitting somehow found a pair of my underwear. They asked if they could use them to go parachuting. FML
Today, as I was working at my babysitting job, I was watching a 3.5 year old girl. She begged and begged me to come in the jacuzzi with her, and when I put on my 2-piece bathing suit on, the young girl asked me why my stomach looked like a bagel. I looked down just to realize she was right. FML
Today, my father made his bellybutton talk. In front of my new boyfriend. FML
Today, I picked up my daughter from preschool. Her teacher handed me her nap blankets and mentioned there was an extra article of clothing I might want to take home. I looked in-between the blankets and saw a pair of my giant granny panties that had gotten mixed in with her stuff. FML
Today, I was babysitting a little girl. She told me she wanted to go to the park, so we did. As we were walking back, I was carrying her on my back. When we were almost at the front door, she told me she had to pee. I told her to hold it in for a second. As we were walking through the door, I felt a warm spot on my back. FML
Today, my class got baby dolls for the week to teach us how to be good parents. After school, I went to the store with my mom with the baby doll. When I got home, I realized that I left the baby doll in a shopping cart. FML
Today, I was babysitting my baby cousin. I was lying on my back playing with her, while holding her up in the air. As I was doing that, I made cooing noises and funny faces to get her to laugh. She laughed and threw up in my mouth. FML
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Top comments
MukyDaCookie 0
What a precious childhood memory. Every kid should keep one of those, mine is under my pillow along with my tonsils, wisdom teeth and my first crap.
kiran_fml 5
disgusting!!!
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Comments (143)
plexico 4
You should have said, "That's OK, but if your parents were really cool, you'd have the placenta, too!"
Mr_Kennedy 4
Who would really keep that? Wouldn't it grow hard or shrivel or something?
SierraStabler 0
rofl @ 53 beautiful, man. I really don't see what's wrong with this. They kept the umbilical cord. So what? Grow up people...
s_t_e_p_h 0
I have been put in some awkward babysitting situations, but thankfull never in this one.
alwaysalady 0
I saved a lot of things from my son, his curls, his little teeth, his hospital bracelet, tiny shoes, but the umbilical cord, quite frankly, grossed me out, and I was only too glad to throw it away, along with his circumcision ring. (Several of my friends saved those, and all I can think is, WHY?) It's just not cute to save dried flesh.
thelonelylurker 0
"I touched an umbilical cord today, **** My Life." Really? Man up and stfu.
percypigs 0
lol, my mum never kept mine, she was too squeamish.
hawaiianxpunchx3 0
ahh memories.because every child should have their own umbillical cord.
catiedid 0
if nobody ate it and it wasn't bloody, i don't see what's so gross about it.
fallacy_fml 0
Holy shit, I was genuinely a bit scared when I read that. XD Ahh--- gross.