Today, I was at the mall and started singing along to the playing of "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas." A kid glanced at me and said to her mom, "She IS a hippopotamus." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my family and I watched Madagascar 2. When we got to the part where Gloria the hippopotamus is praised for her chunkyness, my little sister looked at me and said, "If you were a hippo, maybe then you would get a date." FML
Today, I saw a kid getting bullied; a girl was hitting him in the head. After having an inner struggle with what to do, I tried to stop them. Both kids then turned on me, and called me a "hippo". FML
Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML
Today, I took my daughter on her first visit to the zoo. While we were watching the lemurs, some kid thought it would be funny to start shouting "MONKEY CUNTS" at them at the top of his voice. Now my daughter refuses to stop repeating the same phrase. FML
Today, I went to the mall. A little girl was walking around and telling everyone that they were pretty. When she got to me, she gave me a disgusted look and walked away. FML
Today, a little girl looked at me and yelled "Mommy look, there's a real leprechaun!" FML
Today, I was in a store when a child looked at me and said to his mother "look at that tall man!" His mother replied "he's an evil giant isn't he, darling?" I then mimed being an evil giant to make the kid laugh. His mother slapped me. FML
Today, at the supermarket, my mother stopped in the middle of a lane and imitated a gorilla as a way of asking me from far away if I wanted any bananas. FML
Today, while shopping for groceries, a small child pointed at my face and exclaimed : "DOGGIE!" FML
Today, while working as a swim instructor, I started singing the hokey pokey to get all the kids used to putting their faces in the water. One of the kids was covering his ears. When I asked him why, he said "because you were singing." He's 3. FML
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Top comments
slushpup9696 12
So... you're looking for a mate?
apv0222 0
Little kids and their honesty...
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Comments (244)
liveitup222 1
The sad thing about it is that her mom probably said, "Honey, we don't say things like that, it's mean." and didn't do anything about it. If I did that as a kid, we'd leave the mall all together, and when I got home...oh boy lol
diamond69_fml 14
So true!
number0 8
Or horrific at talking
shift_love 13
Or just 15 years old and trying to sound cool
ikickgingers 15
... Hip, Hip Hop, Hip Hop anonymous? Damn you!!!!
BabyDoll817 0
Eat a salad.
marinus_fml 20
Or someone trying to rush to get first comment.smh
zachherbert 10
Or someone who's a.... CH CH CH CH CHAIN BREAKER!!
clevarusername 0
Today I went on a run to my buddies house. When I got there I asked for a bottle of water and he told me to grab one out of the fridge. I start chugging only to realize it was vodka and I projectile vomited all inside the fridge and completely covering the leftover thanksgiving turkey. FML
diamond69_fml 14
Dame dude, that's an FML all in it's self, but YDI for not reading the bottle 1st. Sorry, I had to say it.
janro72 10
ydi for being phat :p
forthelove82 7
YDI. You must be fat.
KiddNYC1O 22
Fail. Your first comment too.
cheefer 0
Fail. You're a creepy stalker.
KiddNYC1O 22
Thanks!
graham11 14
108- fail. There is absolutely no stalking involved in seeing who posted the first comment.