Today, I was at my new boyfriend's house, and he was taking a shower. I had to take a crap real bad, but his apartment only has the one bathroom. I couldn't wait for him to finish, and ended having to shit in a plastic bag. FML
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Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML
Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 6 months asked me to spend the night at his apartment for the first time. I had to poop really bad when I got there, so I used his only bathroom. He went after me, and came out a few seconds later, gagging. Apparently, I clogged his toilet. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
Today, I woke up to use the restroom, because I had to take a shit. There was basically no toilet paper left. I asked my boyfriend if he could go get some. It was 1 a.m. He said he’d go when the stores were open, then told me to just rinse off in the shower. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, I needed to use the bathroom. I decided to be a good girlfriend and leave the seat up for him. He later yelled at me for not putting the seat down because he needed to take a dump. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's in a back room that wasn’t connected to the main house. I really had to pee, but neither of us wanted to go into the house, so he told me to just go outside in a cup. I ended up having diarrhea in a cup in my boyfriend's backyard. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I wanted to kayak. On the way, I told him I had to go back to our hotel because I needed the bathroom and didn't want a public one to smell. Once back in the elevator at the hotel, it got stuck. For an hour. I pooped myself and had to wait 40 minutes after that for help. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. Right as I sat down and started taking a dump, I looked over at the empty toilet paper roll and remembered his roommate had told us the night before that they were out of toilet paper. FML
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Top comments
audreyfml1994 15
He probably would've stopped his shower for a minute so you could use the toilet. I know it may be embarrassing, especially with him being a new bf and all, but seriously? ******** in a bag?
iLike2Teabag 27
It's not that nasty. Everyone knows that when girls poop, glitter and pink fairy dust and a rainbow comes out. Right..?
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Comments (217)
gabagabaheyu 10
how did you manage that? did you squat over a grocery bag? in his living room? kitchen? and what happened to the bag of shit?
JMichael 26
I would of just asked him if you could use the bathroom real quick and then let him continue his shower.
jh921971 10
Why not use the crapper while he is in the shower?
cchuckcloninger 5
I just cannot imagine that this was the best option?
tazmanmike2013 17
How about going to a local convenience store or has station? If he lives in an apartment I'm sure there's something with a public restroom close by. YDI definately
GEBEH 14
I don't think she would resort to ******** in a plastic bag if she had the time to go outside and browse local stores for a 5 star restroom... some people really hide their intelligence well.
Core5555 9
You go to someones house a few times and you know where the stores are because you DRIVE passed them on the way there. You also sometimes stop at some to fill up gas tanks, buy a soda, get a snack. If you can't remember that you passed a gas station 2 blocks down the road then you have issues. And obviously quality of bathroom (5 star) isn't a concern if she's ******** in a bag.
GEBEH 14
No 5 star isn't a concern but I bet the 2 blocks were.
DonnyM 1
Well you know...shit happens...
storminmormin14 12
Does his shower have a devider?
DotDootyDot 17
You could have just asked if you could use the toilet, instead of doing something so gross.
LennyComa 39
Can I just point out a lot of people are saying she is gross when the alternatives were; shit her pant's, shit on the floor, shit in the kitchen sink or shit out the window. I think that's a little grosser than crapping in a bag and I am assuming disposing of it.
ksks1234 33
There are a couple more alternatives: use his bathroom or use a public one. Using a bag is just pathetic and disgusting. I would rather use a construction port-a-potty over a bag.
cathrope 10
I'm sure if you had knocked on the bathroom door and told him, I'm sure he would've let you use the toilet, unless he's a jerk.