Today, I was at my boyfriend's in a back room that wasn’t connected to the main house. I really had to pee, but neither of us wanted to go into the house, so he told me to just go outside in a cup. I ended up having diarrhea in a cup in my boyfriend's backyard. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and badly needed to pee. Just as I was about to say I had to go to the bathroom, my boyfriend suddenly put his hands around my stomach and picked me up. He hit just the right spot, causing me to empty my bladder then and there. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 6 months asked me to spend the night at his apartment for the first time. I had to poop really bad when I got there, so I used his only bathroom. He went after me, and came out a few seconds later, gagging. Apparently, I clogged his toilet. FML
Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend in his room, wearing his boxers. He told me this story about how one time he had diarrhea when he was stuck in traffic and had no choice but to shit himself. I asked him what prompted this story. He said I was wearing the boxers he'd pooped in. FML
Today, I drank from a soda can that was on my floor. Unfortunately, it was my boyfriend’s pee. He was too lazy to go to the bathroom. FML
Today, while my nephews got ready for school, my boyfriend walked into the bathroom to ask me if he could accompany us to the bus stop. Unfortunately, I couldn’t hold my diarrhea anymore. As he was asking, I began to loudly relieve myself. He looked at me in shock and just said, “Oh okay, I’ll fuck off now.” FML
Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I wanted to kayak. On the way, I told him I had to go back to our hotel because I needed the bathroom and didn't want a public one to smell. Once back in the elevator at the hotel, it got stuck. For an hour. I pooped myself and had to wait 40 minutes after that for help. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
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Top comments
Allie614032 34
Was it really that far from the house?? I'd much rather walk five minutes or less than pee, let alone have diarrhea, in a cup outside.
RichardPencil 32
Gosh! I have so much to learn about female anatomy and physiology. As a male, pee and diarrhea feel very different on the inside. I’m mystified!
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Comments (22)
RichardPencil 32
Gosh! I have so much to learn about female anatomy and physiology. As a male, pee and diarrhea feel very different on the inside. I’m mystified!
Allie614032 34
Was it really that far from the house?? I'd much rather walk five minutes or less than pee, let alone have diarrhea, in a cup outside.
Glowworm56 27
When you're having lots of fun, but it isn't number one, diarrhea! Diarrhea!
NicF13 2
I bet I'm one of the few who catches the Dave Chappelle reference here either way it made me laugh
Glowworm56 27
Truth be told, the "Diarrhea Song" has been around longer than Dave Chapelle. (Never knew he did a segment on it) I recall kids singing it once while in the after school program years ago. Thought I'd make up my own verse that was fitting.
Boyufd 25
What a shitty situation
bigdaddyeric 37
You said you had to pee, where did this diarrhea suddenly appear from? And isn’t at a bit lazy to not want to walk a few feet? SMH for your generation...
raven_of_azarath 35
I’m a part of the generation you slander, and I will travel any distance for a suitable bathroom, thank you very much.
timinator5000 28
Thanks for ruining the housing market and the economy grandpa.
Dark♡Twisty 8
☝️👏👏
chosha_fml 27
If you were going outside, why did you need the cup?
Eheath12Jheath14 8
so it didn't splash back up onto her legs and ankles.
Catlover1130 14
You deserve it just based on the fact that you were too damn lazy to go into the house.
JillianJuneBug 39
Were you planning to hold onto your cup of pee until you went back into the house?
Donut_Wizard 23
With the title this post was given, how are we supposed to leave clever comments when the best has already been already taken?
BTK4399 14
Sounds like a shitty situation