Today, I was at my new boyfriend's house, and he was taking a shower. I had to take a crap real bad, but his apartment only has the one bathroom. I couldn't wait for him to finish, and ended having to shit in a plastic bag. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML
Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 6 months asked me to spend the night at his apartment for the first time. I had to poop really bad when I got there, so I used his only bathroom. He went after me, and came out a few seconds later, gagging. Apparently, I clogged his toilet. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
Today, I woke up to use the restroom, because I had to take a shit. There was basically no toilet paper left. I asked my boyfriend if he could go get some. It was 1 a.m. He said he’d go when the stores were open, then told me to just rinse off in the shower. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, I needed to use the bathroom. I decided to be a good girlfriend and leave the seat up for him. He later yelled at me for not putting the seat down because he needed to take a dump. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's in a back room that wasn’t connected to the main house. I really had to pee, but neither of us wanted to go into the house, so he told me to just go outside in a cup. I ended up having diarrhea in a cup in my boyfriend's backyard. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I wanted to kayak. On the way, I told him I had to go back to our hotel because I needed the bathroom and didn't want a public one to smell. Once back in the elevator at the hotel, it got stuck. For an hour. I pooped myself and had to wait 40 minutes after that for help. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. Right as I sat down and started taking a dump, I looked over at the empty toilet paper roll and remembered his roommate had told us the night before that they were out of toilet paper. FML
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Top comments
audreyfml1994 15
He probably would've stopped his shower for a minute so you could use the toilet. I know it may be embarrassing, especially with him being a new bf and all, but seriously? ******** in a bag?
iLike2Teabag 27
It's not that nasty. Everyone knows that when girls poop, glitter and pink fairy dust and a rainbow comes out. Right..?
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Comments (217)
rockhead1270 5
Don't be shy. In a few months he will be licking your ass anyway
AwkwardPimp 5
No kidding. They'll either be having sex or broken up. Would have made a funnier story... "Honey, you remember our first date?" "You let me poo while u were in the shower - that's when I knew it was love!"....
NPN_Scorpio 16
A Borat moment come to life!
awilliams44 9
oh my gosh. sorry girl..
annie_nk 23
I read a similar story from a Comso clipping someone uploaded onto dating fails. Everyone knows you never take advice from Cosmo.
kipfischer 11
Why when you just go in the bathroom that's so ******* retarded
ErinRosado 14
I'm just looking forward to the follow-up. Did he find the poo bag? Tune in next week.
ASBriere 8
You have issues and proved my theory that woman are just as disgusting as men.
londonguy 7
That's gross
reinmon8823 11
really a bag? couldn't you have knocked and went in i understand the shoe new bf thing but i'd let you come in to shit if i was talking a shower lol
xboxmaniac7 9
Hey, at least you recycled.