Today, I was at my new boyfriend's house, and he was taking a shower. I had to take a crap real bad, but his apartment only has the one bathroom. I couldn't wait for him to finish, and ended having to shit in a plastic bag. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML
Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 6 months asked me to spend the night at his apartment for the first time. I had to poop really bad when I got there, so I used his only bathroom. He went after me, and came out a few seconds later, gagging. Apparently, I clogged his toilet. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
Today, I woke up to use the restroom, because I had to take a shit. There was basically no toilet paper left. I asked my boyfriend if he could go get some. It was 1 a.m. He said he’d go when the stores were open, then told me to just rinse off in the shower. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, I needed to use the bathroom. I decided to be a good girlfriend and leave the seat up for him. He later yelled at me for not putting the seat down because he needed to take a dump. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's in a back room that wasn’t connected to the main house. I really had to pee, but neither of us wanted to go into the house, so he told me to just go outside in a cup. I ended up having diarrhea in a cup in my boyfriend's backyard. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I wanted to kayak. On the way, I told him I had to go back to our hotel because I needed the bathroom and didn't want a public one to smell. Once back in the elevator at the hotel, it got stuck. For an hour. I pooped myself and had to wait 40 minutes after that for help. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. Right as I sat down and started taking a dump, I looked over at the empty toilet paper roll and remembered his roommate had told us the night before that they were out of toilet paper. FML
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Top comments
audreyfml1994 15
He probably would've stopped his shower for a minute so you could use the toilet. I know it may be embarrassing, especially with him being a new bf and all, but seriously? ******** in a bag?
iLike2Teabag 27
It's not that nasty. Everyone knows that when girls poop, glitter and pink fairy dust and a rainbow comes out. Right..?
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Comments (217)
jmacfan1 16
For all you guys saying she could have gone in a bush it is winter here in the US and with temps below freezing and subzero wind chills it is way too ******* cold outside to poo in a bush
NightHawk387 22
It could be worse, OP. I once saw a couple on TV telling a story about their first date. They were going on a ski trip, and the woman had to pee, but they were nowhere near a restroom, so she had to pee on the side of the road. She leaned against the car bumper while she was peeing, and because it was so cold, her skin got stuck to the car. So the only safe way to get her unstuck without hurting her was for the man to pee on her to release her skin from the car. Now that is an awkward first date. They ended up getting married too.
GEBEH 14
if it was so cold wouldn't she have clothes on which would prevent her skin from getting stuck?
n3ophyt3 10
FML that I have read this .
Plastic_Stitchez 25
Totally agree with you man
0310Park 1
hahahahaha i cant breath!!
decwalsh4 5
what the **** go somewhere else
0310Park 1
OMG!!! hahahaha i cant breath!!
mia_marie01 11
Was there just not a restaurant or store or anything nearby?? Did you just not think about that? Oh well... Shit happens! (Excuse my bad pun)
iamthunder 4
Hope you didn't throw it in his garbage bin :|
hynriech_lord 8
Ok, next time just knock and tell him you have to shit. You might be embarrassed but he will be more grossed out that you shit in a plastic bag than using a toliet.
Plastic_Stitchez 25
That's disgusting, I could've spent my whole life without that mental image. :/