Today, I was at a football game with my boyfriend. I said my hands were getting cold, hoping he'd hold them. He replied, "Uh, they make pockets for a reason..." and physically showed me how to put my hands in my pockets. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while at a football game, I had my arm around my girlfriend. We were really close and I was just about to kiss her when suddenly her phone rang. It was her dad, telling her he's watching. FML
Today, I checked my jacket pocket for my smartphone, all while still holding my smartphone. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was moving his hand from his thigh to my chest but on the way he sort of squeezed my stomach. When I asked him why he did that, he told me that "his fingers got stuck under my roll." FML
Today, I handed my friend his phone, telling him he'd forgotten it. He responded by taking his phone out of his pocket and showing it to me. I then realized I was holding MY phone. FML
Today, on a movie date with my boyfriend, it took me a while to understand why he was leaning on his elbow during the entire thing. He had an earpiece cupped in his hand and was listening to a soccer match. FML
Today, my family went to a football game. It was a little cold, but then it started to rain. I wasn't dressed for rain and I'd left my umbrella in the car. My dad wouldn't let us leave our seats for the whole game. FML
Today, I was on a subway with my boyfriend and it was stopping so I grabbed the pole for support. I felt another hand grabbing onto the pole knowing it was my boyfriend's. Without looking I carressed and tickled his hand. I turned around to smile at my boyfriend. The hand wasn't his. FML
Today, I went to see a hockey game. The announcer asked if anybody found a ring in the stands, because a girl lost hers. While he talked about it, I realised that I forgot mine in my pocket, so I took MY ring and put it on my finger. A guy saw me and thought I stole the lost one. FML
Today, my family was watching a football game and kept mentioning their team's quarterback's name and, as I'm not a football fan by any means, asked them who this was. My grandma then turned to me and said, "This is why you don't have a boyfriend." FML
Today, I was feeling very ill after a severe anxiety attack. I asked my boyfriend to hold my hand until I fell asleep. He said he couldn't because he needed both hands to play on his gameboy. FML
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Top comments
anonymous_365 12
That's cold.
fuckedPriceless 17
Honestly, that's probably what I'd say too. I'm very sarcastic though...
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Comments (68)
8born8 18
Oohh right in the romance! Chin up OP, Hopefully, you'll be walking hand in hand soon. Perhaps on the way to a lovely dinner, just the two of you.
KnownAsCAJ 11
(y) wrote in wrong one and cant delete.. so yea. (y)
captainsmegma 12
What an insensitive bastard. If I was with you my dear I would have held your hands, bought you hot chocolate, and then took you home for some hot sex. Call me next game day.
Mauskau 36
You're a bit insensitive by trying to take someone else's girlfriend.
Taylor22294 24
Also a little cocky for assuming she'd want you, or have sex with. Not everyone wants you Smooth Talker haha
KnownAsCAJ 11
"omg he didnt hold my hand when I implied it so i'll find someone else to be with now." Really?
cryssycakesx3 23
the stench of his desperation is in the air...
davincidasecond 24
You sound in desperate need of some water, because that was the thirstiest thing I've read in a long while.
ARetardedSeal 24
Someone ought to give you the back hand of the century for that.
BrotherPhil 35
Sounded a bit deliberately T-T to me. Is this the famous American blind spot for sarcasm?
Thunderstruck14 30
Some people always mean what they say, and expect others to do the same thing. I'm cold means I'm cold, and lets hold hands means lets hold hands. If you're dating someone like that, just tell them exactly what it is you want. Its not that they're not romantic or that they don't care about you, they just need you to tell them how you feel because that's how they communicate.
Omegadolly 22
"Well damn, Jackie, I can't control the weather!"
sehrgutmann 19
I agree your life sucks but your pockets would have made your hands warmer. You get the warmth from your thighs and they're protected from the cold and wind.
Taylor22294 24
You should be more upfront. Relationships are based on honesty and trust. Be honest when you want something don't foreshadow anything, let it out.
joe3_fml 15
Boys are usually clueless to stuff like that, specially since he was watching a football game.
monkeybanana7 5
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHA
chrisstachon 30
smart ass lol
ober80 6
Time for a new boyfriend