Today, my family was watching a football game and kept mentioning their team's quarterback's name and, as I'm not a football fan by any means, asked them who this was. My grandma then turned to me and said, "This is why you don't have a boyfriend." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at a family get together with distant relatives. My grandma made a point to say how all of the grandkids brought their boyfriends or girlfriends. She looked at me, then turned to everyone and said, "But not our Becky! She's more interested in her cats right now than finding a man." FML
Today, my grandma wasn't feeling well, so I went to her house to check on her. After about 20 minutes, I knew she was feeling better when she looked at me and said, "So, do you have a boyfriend yet? I pray every night that I get to live long enough to see you with a boyfriend." FML
Today, my 65-year-old grandmother called and asked me to tell my boyfriend that she was flattered, but she's happily married. I have no idea what she was talking about and my boyfriend refuses to talk to me. FML
Today, at a family dinner, my grandma asked me why I’m still single. Before I could answer, my dad, always ready with dad joke, quipped, "Because everyone he tries to date runs away faster than he can catch them." My family laughed, and my grandma just nodded and said, "Makes sense." FML
Today, while at a football game, I had my arm around my girlfriend. We were really close and I was just about to kiss her when suddenly her phone rang. It was her dad, telling her he's watching. FML
Today, my grandma called me to tell me that a couple of cute boys stopped by her house to borrow something. She told them all about me, and that I would be interested in them. My love life is so pathetic, even my grandmother is trying to hook me up. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's grandmother's house meeting her for the first time. I excused myself to the restroom and as I walked out of the room I heard her say, "You could do a lot better. She's fat." Then I heard my boyfriend reply, "I know." FML
Today, my boyfriend of three years and I went to visit my 85 year-old grandmother at the hospital. While I went to the restroom, she apparently told him about a guy I was seeing on the side. I have no idea who she's talking about and my boyfriend refuses to talk to me. FML
Today, at my younger sister's wedding, my hospitalised grandmother called to ask if I have a boyfriend yet, both my parents wondered if I'll ever get married, and when the 13-year-old next to me caught the bouquet, his father yelled from the back to give it to me instead. FML
Today, a client stared at me in disbelief after I mentioned that I had a boyfriend. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Radgears47 23
I'm a guy and not a fan of football. Your granny and I could never date.
ahabsfan 17
Tell her the reason you don't have a boyfriend is because you don't put out and check out her reaction.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (30)
Radgears47 23
I'm a guy and not a fan of football. Your granny and I could never date.
ahabsfan 17
Tell her the reason you don't have a boyfriend is because you don't put out and check out her reaction.
WCARlover 35
I know my team's quarterback's name and I'm single...I wonder what your all knowing expert grandmother would say about me
Lalala579121 28
That you're single because you're (probably) not a Vikings (I assume) fan.
dtut 15
Grandma is savage
LyricaSilvan 30
Granny's a little out of touch. I know plenty of guys who couldn't give two ***** about sports.
Tripartita 45
She's got a point. Guys love when you know the names of the sweaty men they like to watch play with slippery balls and plow into each other. It helps with bondage—erm, bonding.
bartsj88 6
Ok, I'm one moderated comment away from being permanently banned and I know this will do it for me. After reading several of your comments on FML threads, it is clear that you are trying way too hard to be funny. You're not, though. Your comments are just so cringey. It is clear that you think you are funny but in actuality you're very awkward. Sorry to hurt your feelings if you feel the need to get me moderated.
Tripartita 45
I'm not offended in the slightest, so if your comment disappears, it has nothing to do with me. You state your opinion as though it's fact, you claim to know what I think, and you backed up none of what you said. So of all the people to find me unfunny, I'm glad it's you.
Dave_Davington 34
Sports are so last generation. Guys are all about video games nowadays.
Jay18 22
you're 100% correct
brenton490 19
Ya tell me the name of my favorite character!
Lalala579121 28
Exactly. Who needs watching football when there's Madden?
dkane 12
I can assure you that that is not the reason why you don't have a boyfriend. Most guys don't care if you know the players name, as long as you are cheering for the right team, and know what's going on in the game.
Yudith_fml 11
Even the "knowing what's going on in the game" is not necessary. Just cheer when they cheer. Guys like it when a girl brings them munchies and beer, allowing them to watch the game.
TheLawtman 3
I prefer my wonan not to give a crap about sports. Stupid that people want to watch dopped up guys grabbing each other.
dkane 12
Another note, if it is the name of the quarterback, it's understandable for you not to know the name, assuming that you were referring to the Vikings Cowboys game, both the quarterbacks are new to the team this year.
Lalala579121 28
I would pay to see that movie. I mean, they already have cowboys and aliens so would cowboys and vikings be too much further a stretch? (and we all know the vikings would win)
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Surely the cowboys would have the advantage due to having guns.
PennyLane27 32
Fight fire with fire: Become a Packers fan out of spite. Tell her the only QB that matters is Aaron Rodgers, and the Vikings mean nothing to you. Also there is really a great underground Packers fanbase in MN!
yerawizardlizzy 27
Nah, that's lame. Don't try to force yourself into a fanbase you don't care about for some petty revenge. There are plenty of other ways to meet people.