Today, my psycho mom walked in while I was chilling and having fun with some friends. She kicked them out and now wants to drug test me, because, "Nobody's that happy without drugs." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my crazy drug-addict mother kicked me out of the house after siding with my crazy, drug-addict aunt, who'd just threatened to slit my throat. FML
Today, my mom told me she's a drug addict, sold my bed to buy meth, and then lectured me about how I should be okay with it. FML
Today, my mother has taken her drug paranoia to a new level. She threw away an open but nearly full bag of dried mint because she's sure I emptied and refilled the bag with marijuana to hide it from her. She then tried to ground me in my own house in front of my wife and daughter. FML
Today, my mom called me a druggie after she found out I smoked weed once. She's now threatening to sell my car, tell my boss, and ban me from seeing my fiancée. I'm 24. FML
Today, my mother topped someone's story of their child's problems by saying I'm on drugs. This resulted in people showing up to stage an intervention for me. She made the whole thing up and I've never used drugs, but no one believes me. FML
Today, my mother took a bunch of sleeping pills, then went driving. I followed her and dialed 911. Now she thinks that I was "trying to get her arrested," and she refuses to talk to me ever again. FML
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, I came from a 12-hour shift to find my clothes and stuff outside, and the locks changed. I called my mom to let me in and she told me, “Hell the fuck no, I’m not having a drug addicted junkie up in my house! You’re no longer my daughter!” and hung up. Apparently, she found my stash of weed. FML
Today, my psychotic step-dad asked me if I'm doing drugs. I replied with a massive amount of sarcasm: "Yeah, all of 'em. Especially meth." He flipped out, searched my room top to bottom, then grounded me "for good" until I tell him where I hid the supposed drugs. FML
Today, after having to move home with my parents because I'm broke and can't seem to find a job, my mom found out I'm on anti-depressants. She and my dad will no longer be helping with money because she doesn't like "drugs". FML
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Top comments
Daonna 9
She has quite the testy attitude.
foxwasalamb 24
jealousy maybe?
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Comments (65)
Daonna 9
She has quite the testy attitude.
PrimeEvilTahir 24
OP should go ahead and take the test. Prove her that she's wrong... And stupid..
orbit 22
Unless he has substances still in him from a different time is he does use.
joe3_fml 15
Tell her to "chill" out.
nix1993 41
Drug test your mom, paranoia is a side effect of drug abuse. Naw I'm just kidding, your mom sounds like an absolute riot for a teenager to live with.
RedPillSucks 33
Not, I think you're on to it. OP should challenge mom. If he test positive, he'll get help. If negative, she should get some psychiatric help
youllnvrkno 8
"We are high on life mom!"
Saluton 18
she won't believe the results and will ground the OP for faking them
Helpfulman 17
Just at you're high on Jesus.
foxwasalamb 24
jealousy maybe?
lexiieeex3 32
Crazy is more like it...
Just_A_Tree 20
Next time you see her even mildly enjoying herself, demand a drug test!
granCanyon 12
I think OP should agree to do the drug test and when it comes back negative he should look his mother straight into the eyes and say "I pity you if you think a human being needs drugs to be happy".
Epikatz 22
^ future soap opera writer.
MossyMegaMan 20
Amurica! **** Yeah!
Koalax3 18
# 28 has a point though. Not to bash on anyone, but how miserable does someone have to be to come up with that conclusion ?
adkim78 17
sounds like she knows from experience
sayyestothedress 24
Better safe than sorry
jmcr 27
Or it's the crazy thats talking
fuckedPriceless 17
Every day has its highs and its lows. I guess she prefers you have the lows over the highs though...
JMichael 26
Well lay of the drugs dammit..
james98e 15
She's just having a 'crack' at you
ahippienamedrae 10
She has an interesting METHod
Alchemist_21 26
It's a parent's duty to "weed" out drug abuse.
tantanpanda 26
Just because she can't be that happy without drugs doesn't mean others can't be.
Liamj774 36
So.... What drugs were you doing?
orbit 22
Does it matter? I usually just take a couple handfuls of whatevers around.
Quackadoodledoo 13
^^Charlie Sheen I presume.
foxwasalamb 24
a gallon of PCP. duh.
orbit 22
A gallon? Why not just make it in your bathtub and take a bath in it. Just let your skin absorb it until you slip out of conscious and get stuck in a never ending trip because it was too much....Yeah that's a blast.
Norja 33
Sounds like she needs the test
VancouverGuy89 9
Sounds like she doesn't have much friends
RussRuss 7
Maybe her best friend is cocaine