Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie. I opened it, and it said, "The love of your life is sitting across from you". The only thing across from me was an empty chair. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at a Chinese restaurant with my boyfriend and his family. After the meal, we all decided to open our fortune cookies and read them out loud. On mine, it said "You will change your mind many times before settling down." I didn't realize what it meant until after I'd read it to them. FML
Today, my friend gave me a fortune cookie that said, "Don't be saddened by an upcoming event". Three hours later my girlfriend broke up with me because she said I was too superstitious. FML
Today, I was sitting in the restaurant waiting for my blind date to come. I had sat for an hour until I finally got fed up and went to leave when at the same time the guy at the table next to me stood up to leave too. I noticed he had been sitting alone. Turns out he was my date. FML
Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML
Today, I blushed when a fortune cookie said, "You have the attitude of a winner." My self esteem is that low. FML
Today, the guy I'm dating came into the same restaurant where I was eating. He was with a girl. He sat at the table next to mine and didn't even bother to say, "Hi." I guess I'm single again. FML
Today, the only girl I've ever had eyes for said she can't find any good single men, all while sitting next to me. FML
Today, my crush took me out to lunch. When the waiter came for our orders he ordered onoin rings and looks at me and says, "I won't be kissing anyone tonight anyways." FML
Today, I went to a date with a girl I thought liked me. We sat down at a restaurant, ordered some food and started talking. After 30 minutes, she said with a sigh of relief, "THANK GOD! There's my dad. Now I can leave. Bye, thanks for the dinner." The food hadn't even arrived yet. FML
Today, I went out to eat with some friends. They picked a table that wasn't big enough for all of us. I had to sit in the booth behind them. Alone. FML
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Top comments
MissEmma_fml 22
Forever alone.
DocBastard 40
You didn't look far enough. The real love of your life is the buffet across the room. Send me an invitation to the wedding.
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Comments (233)
Dramori 29
"if you can't find a partner use a wooden chair, let's rock, yeah everybody let's rock..." Elvis saw this coming.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Please tell me that your picture isn't another one of my baby pictures.
Caliborn_06 11
Cry me a river
Briiyahh 7
Lol I'm sorry Forever alone
SqueakyChipmunk 22
There was a ghost sitting in that chair! Or a cockroach. ... Eh. Still a better love story than twilight.
watermelon1 35
On the bright side, it wasn't your dad sitting across from you…
SamanthaCassieL 10
Those things are full of shit. I'm sure you will find someone one day who will treat you right and will make you fall head over heels :)
Enslaved 38
The Chinese Restaurant I go to, only have fortune cookies with Lottery numbers and a translation of how to say different Chinese words.):
sweetmama88 6
At least it wasn't your family sitting across from you.
ganjaone 2
I feel ur pain op :(
Crownsroyal11 1
Was the chair wood?